PAT: O.K, Jay. Well, the Khazan Stadium crowd here in lovely downtown Hades sure looks excited about this match-up. And here comes the contestants out of the gates! Wonder Woman is looking Glorious, Jay. Simply glorious. The crowd loves her.
JAY: Yes Pat, but Xena the Warrior Princess is looking equally majestic. The crowd is in an absolute swoon over these two beauties. They don't know whether to blow kisses or buy beer and peanuts.
PAT: It's true. And now we are waiting for the official sign from the Judge Callisto, so that the match may begin. She appears to be working on something... Can you make that out, Jay?
JAY: It look like she is doing her nails, Pat.
PAT: She is waving her hand in a bored fashion... that's good enough for the start. We are underway.
JAY: Wonder Woman is walking forward, arms and hands up in a classic fighters approach.
PAT: Xena has her sword out and is also walking forward.
JAY: We know that Wonder Woman is strong almost beyond imagining, but most people don't realize that she is not invulnerable. Any comment, Pat?
PAT: It is true, Jay. Wonder Woman depends on her bracelets and speed for protection. Xena is going to have to pull out some snappy sword play if she is going to get any hits on the Amazon...
JAY: ... And Xena Warrior Princess is making her play Pat! She's charging... Sound please!!!!
AIEIEIEIEYIYIYIYIYIYIY!!!!!!
PAT: Xena swings.. she hit a bracelet... swings again! she hit a bracelet.
JAY: swing, bracelet, swing, bracelet... Pat, she can't get through!
PAT: Wonder Woman is on the offense now, using her bracelets and fists... forcing Xena to back step and use her sword to block... wait...
JAY: First Blood! Xena tags Wonder Woman in the leg with a knife!
PAT: Wonder Woman has flown backwards, up and away. I don't think she is accustomed to getting cut.
JAY: Xena is charging again, sword in one hand, knife in the other...
PAT: Wonder Woman has busted out with the golden lasso...
JAY: Xena is jumping... flying through the air...
PAT: Too quick!! The lasso has snaked out and encircled Xena!!
JAY: Xena has dropped to the earth like a sack of potatoes. Whoof!
PAT: The Golden Lasso is known to kind of zonk people. This could be the fight right here. Xena looks dazed alright. Wonder Woman has landed and is striding forward.
JAY: Xena is standing wobbly on her feet. This is defiantly the end of the fight. Xena is being defeated by the effects of the lasso.
PAT: ...Wait Jay, Xena is got something.. moving... twirling... Wonder Woman is waving at the crowd... She doesn't see it.
JAY: She doesn't see it Pat....
PAT: Wonder woman is walking towards Xena... it's coming around...
JAY: She still doesn't see it...
PAT: OH! Xena's chakram has come around and slashed Diana across the shoulder!! Blood in the sand, Jay!
JAY: Wonder Woman is shocked, she has pulled the lasso back to her by instinct... I don't think she meant to..
PAT: Xena is free... The crowd is going nuts!
JAY: Wonder Woman looks pissed, Pat.
PAT: Wonder Woman is charging...
JAY: Wonder Woman looks really pissed, Pat.
PAT: Wonder Woman has slammed Xena to the ground. She's grabbed Xena by the armour... Picking her up again...
JAY: Wonder Woman is too strong...
PAT: And slammed her into the ground again!! That HAS to hurt.
JAY: Xena has blood in her mouth.. but she's up on her feet...
PAT: ...And Wonder Woman has back slapped her across the stadium!
JAY: Xena has hit the East Wall. She is slumped in the sand. Xena is TOAST!
PAT: We knew going into this thing that Wonder Woman was by far the more powerful of the two. She's striding over to Xena now, to put the coup de grace on this show.
JAY: Somebody has dropped something over the East Wall into Xena's lap... who is that?
PAT: That is Thor, Jay. God of Thunder, and a regular in Marvel Comics. There has been talk that Xena and the Thunder guy might be romantically involved... but what did he drop?
JAY: I don't know, but Xena is raising it to her lips... Ambrosia!
PAT: Apparently Xena is getting a mouthful of Ambrosia, the legendary substance which grants normal humans Godlike powers...
JAY: Wait... Callisto has teleported into the sand... Blocking Wonder Woman's way.
PAT: Callisto, acting in her role as judge is obviously going to call the fight and declare Diana the winn...
JAY: Wonder Woman has been slammed by a forcebolt from Xena! Xena is up... she's glowing with the effects of Ambrosia...
PAT: It's Diana's turn to slam into a wall... through the wall... My god... the force of the bolt has slammed her through six solid walls and out the back of the stadium.
JAY: Emergency Medical is responding to the situation.
PAT: What's this? The Goddess Callisto is drawing her sword on Xena!
JAY: Callisto is saying something...
You don't know how long I've waited for this moment
PAT: This is getting interesting... From Khazan Stadium, I'm Pat Summers..
JAY: ...and Jay Peoples telling you to hold on to your hats!
Editors Note: Events of this battle continue in Next Weeks Championship Bout XENA vs. CALLISTO.
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