The CBUB Character Database


Gambit vs. Catwoman vs. Black Cat

ISSUE #157

Iceman vs. The Human Torch


Green Arrow vs. Hawkeye


Voltron vs. Power Ranger's Zord

ISSUE #125

Great Pumpkin vs. Jack Skellington


Jawas vs. Ewoks


Robotech Defense Force vs. The Decepticons


Superman vs. Thor


Borg Cube vs. Death Star


Scooby Doo Gang vs. Hellraiser


Iron Man vs. Steel


Lara Croft vs. Indiana Jones


Cheetarah vs. Harley Quinn


Wolverine vs. Predator

ISSUE #109

Black Canary and Huntress vs. Black Widow and Silver Sable


Galactus vs. Unicron


Mario vs. Sonic

ISSUE #149

Dr. Doom vs. Magneto


Thundarr vs. Conan vs. Beastmaster


Elvira vs. Vampirella

ISSUE #127

Martial Mayhem - Round One!

ISSUE #106

Nightwing vs. Daredevil

ISSUE #131

Kingpin vs. Penguin vs. Jabba the Hutt

ISSUE #129

Martial Mayhem - Round Three!


Blade vs. Buffy vs. Vampire Hunter D

ISSUE #175

Luke Skywalker vs. Paul Atredis

ISSUE #168

Shazam vs. Black Bolt

ISSUE #138

Wonder Woman vs. She-Hulk

ISSUE #142

Spiderman vs. Wolverine

ISSUE #169

Galactus vs. Galactus' Weight in Krypto the Super Dogs

ISSUE #150

Matrix vs. Crouching Tiger

ISSUE #136

The Thing vs. Colossus


Parallax vs. Dark Phoenix


Ken & Ryu vs. Scorpion & Sub-Zero


The Borg vs. Aliens

ISSUE #171

Batman vs. Dr. Doom


Smurfs vs. Snorks


Taco Bell Chihuahua vs. Ren Hoek

ISSUE #160

Wonder Woman vs. Thor


Boba Fett vs. Batman

Mary Goodnight vs. Honey Ryder vs.
Anya Amasova vs. Christmas Jones vs.
Melina Havelock vs. Octopussy



One Night Only! The Khazan Women's Wrestling Federation is proud to present this very special charity event! In the center ring, six of the most beautiful and devastating Bond Girls go head to head - each one representing the charity of their choice. Only one winner will step out of this mad six-way struggle so place your bets now. Let's look over the contenders:

Mary Goodnight: MI6 Secret Agent from The Man With The Golden Gun. When not being locked in closets or chasing after homocidal midgets she enjoys sun bathing and sumo wrestling. Ms. Goodnight will be fighting for her favorite charity Habitat for Hampsters... "because the rodents of the world need more plastic tubes to run around in".

Honey Ryder: Diver and adventure girl from Dr. No. When not diving for conches or chasing after strange monster submarine things she enjoys singing about mangos and making sharktooth jewelry. Ms. Ryder will be fighting for The March of Rymes... "because more white boys should rap. Ice! Ice! Baby!"

Anya Amasova: Russian secret agent XXX from The Spy Who Loved Me. When not hunting English spies or foiling world threats she enjoys harvesting wheat and making bread. Ms. Amasova will be fighting for the KGB Coffee Fund... "because there's never a damn can of Maxwell House around HQ".

Christmas Jones: Nuclear scientist from The World Is Not Enough. When not disarming thermonuclear devices or being held captive she enjoys crossword puzzles and collecting detonators. Ms. Jones will be fighting for Nukes for Tots... "because children need to understand world destruction is just a click away".

Melina Havelock: Vengeful young woman from For Your Eyes Only. When not shooting things with a crossbow or being dragged across coral reefs she enjoys dog grooming and writing poetry. Ms Havelock will be fighting for Women's Overseas Aid... "because if it was good enough for Lucy Ricardo in that episode, it's good enough for me".

Octopussy: Circus performer turned jewel smuggler from Octopussy. When not practicing seduction or stealing jewels she enjoys practicing seduction and stealing jewels. Octopussy will be fighting for the DeVeers Legal FUnd... "because, why shouldn't they have a monopoly if I'm getting my cut?"

Join us now in a cheesecake wrestling extravaganza we had to call... Bonded To You



Callisto:   Well, it's a sunny day here in Khazan, and we have quite a show for you! Six nubile Bond Girls go at it in a catfight for charity to determine ultimate Bond Girl supremacy.

Harley Quinn:   Hey, Cally. This isn't going to be another perverted strip-a-thon like the Xena vs. Buffy match is it?

Callisto:   No, clown girl. This is strictly on the up and up. Nothing but six girls breaking hearts and noses out on the sand of the Arena Fighter's Pit.

Harley Quinn:   I see. Well, 'nuff said then. Let's get to it.

Callisto:   Yes, let's. But first, we will see what the viewers at home had to say about the event today.




The name is Merzel. D.Merzel writes:


1)Organisational affiliations. Goodnight is MI5, Anya is KGB, Octopussy is the head of an indian acrobat/assassian cult. The others have no major backup, serious disadvantage since in the bond world access to the truely great weapons need this.

2) Villanous females are on average more dangerous than their good counterparts. Bonus for the KGB and indian assassian cult affiliates

Individual analysis

1) Miss ryder is the original, bonus marks, but she didn't do much but run around in a bikini, (not too much use in this combat since the other combatants are hetrosexual females)

2) Goodnight being MI5 other than bond is automatically at a disadvantage, they're incompetent if they could do their jobs there would be nothing for 007 to do. An example in "otopussy" a single kgb agent penetrated their most secure safehouse going through over 12 of their agents

3) christmas is out automatically, she's a scientist in the bond world which means if they aren't a supervillain bent on global domination they are a pawn to be captured with no fighting skills who exist to push the button at the right time.

4)Vengeful greek females, Tough but the lack of innovative gadgets puts her at a disadvantage.

This leads to the real bout, KGB agent vs indian assassian cult member

5) Anya in her movie was co-operating with bond to stop a supervillain who wanted to start WW3 by stealing ballistic missile submarines, Bonus marks for villainous plot but she's KGB, The perennial whipping boys for james bond. She's communist

6) Octopussy,She got the title of the movie. The villainous plot was also to start world war 3 by provoking a soviet conventional attack into europe. She was also an old flame of bond's, they actually had a history of mutual respect and he treated her as a semi-equal. She's also a capitalist.


The new leaders of specter, Pinky and the Brain take advantage of the fact that Mr bond is the referee (and so distracted) to launch a plan to "take over the world" by resurecting Q and co-opting R (Aka John cleese) to build a giant missile fireing wooden rabbit to be wheeled inside the General assembly to destroy key world leanders and rise to power in the chaos. While this goes on the non-combative females are quickly thrown to the hormally imbalanced wrestling fans (only two types of male will be watching this, swarve shphisticated bond fans in tux's and sipping vodka martini's who with perfect poise won't be drooling openly and wrestling fans who will be creating a small lake) leaving kgb anya vs octopussy. Eventually communism collapses leaving anya with a lack of motivation to win while octopussy is still motivated by greed.


1) Wheres michelle yeoh's character from "tomorrow never dies"

2) Where are all the villanous females? They usually demonstate more combative abilities. (or is it because most of them are dead after one movie?)

Teknomancer writes:

I voted for Anya for two reasons:

1.) She shows "Allotta Cleavage". (Groan.)

2.) If the Russians get more coffee, they'll be in the bathroom more, which means we'll win! FOR FREEDOM!

(Sorry...too much Freedom Force or something.)

Peter writes:

I agree with Harley Quinn, it's Christmas Jones for the win. But....only because her name allowed James Bond to make the corniest and cheesiest pun ever said in the history of cinema.

And when it's all said and done, that's all that counts, really.

Opt208 writes:

Well, they are all beautiful women...

And Mr. Bond has slept with most of them...

And that would make him the winner...

The Bunyip writes:

Sorry, but the Clown Girl is right. Onatopp would crush all six of these wimps. After watching the carnage, no doubt Bond will say, "I'm shaken - but stirred."

Sac writes:

Christmas Jones is by FAR the best looking of the lot, and let's face a contest of sexy women versus sexy women, on a site primary visited by young(ish) males, that's all that matters.

However, that said, the Chick from Dr.No is a VERY close second.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some SERIOUS drooling to do... ;p

Awix writes:

Looks like a case of 'let's vote for the babe from the best movie.'

Let's review form here shall we...?

Mary Goodnight - secretary. Special skills: deeply klutzy (unless you count the nekkid singin' and dancin' the actress did in The Wicker Man).

Christmas Jones - annoying valley girl masquerading as physicist. Special skills: name allows for many cheesy jokes.

Honey Ryder - semi-literate fisherwoman. Special skills: knowledge of what kinds of crap tourists will buy.

None of them serious contenders...

Okey dokey, moving on to the realistic candidates.

Melina Havelock - archaeologist with inexplicable crossbow skills. She gets one shot off then she's in trouble. Not really in the running.

Octopussy - now we're getting to it. Self-made international crimelord, clearly knows how to handle herself. Plus, has army of martial-arts-trained babes to back her up. However...

Anya Amasova - member of the KGB's answer to the double-O section, so therefore an elite operative, entirely capable of taking Bond out if and when she needs too. Plus, she used to be married to Ringo Starr.

No contest, realistically - Triple X by a country mile.

Professor Sinistro writes:

If the best argument given on the outcome by both commentators is the names of the girls, I might as well base my vote on this factor because, well, who can not want or want to be any Bond girl?

Being Greek, I happen to know that "Melina" means "Girl of honey". Ms. Ryder seems to have a worthy adversary in the first name sweetness department! And while we're at it, "Callisto" actually means "Prettiest". Honestly! Check any comprehensive mythology book you want!

As far as the last name is concerned, I'll have you know that "Havelock" is the first name of Lord Vetinari, the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork in the Terry Pratchett Discworld books. This man is RUTHLESS. He never loses. One nod from Melina and he'll have the other girls suspended upside down into a scorpion pit. Where's Bond now?

In order to be fair, I'll make a short analysis of the other names:

Mary Goodnight: Well, it's pretty obvious. It's "good night" for her right from the beginning.

Honey Ryder: Melina came first, and besides, riding honey is too sticky.

Anya Amasova: Probably related to digital newscaster Ananova. Might as well be the weather girl.

Christmas Jones: Any time outside December, it's just not "it".

Octopussy: This is just an anatomical paradox, not to mention a weird and gross one.

There you have it folks. Melina Havelock wins and the others apply for a name change.

Comic Patron Supreme writes:

Please realize that only two of these people have any formidable prowess in the field of combat. First, the non-combatants and doomed losers in a real-violence encounter.

Christmas Jones, who I noticed is winning, has every credible title to a competition involving nuclear devices. But she is no fighter, AT ALL.

Mary Goodnight, airheaded twit and somehow agent for MI6, has no formidable fighting skills, though she did manage to clock a thug in her respective movie. Of course, she had to use a blunt object.

Octopussy, given credit for her prowess in circus stunts, has no real fighting experience. She is no where along the lines of Grayson or Drake, or even Todd!

Honey Ryder, no real fighting on her part whatsoever. She is a diver and never so much as raised a fist. No threat there either, as Mongul once put it.

And now to the real fighters among the match's contestants.

Melina Havelock. Ah, there is a story somehow resemblant of that of the late Bruce Wayne... Family murdered... Quest for vengeance... And a masterful eye with a ranged weapon. Her participation with Topol's group in the movie merits her as well.

Besides, if she starts to lose, she's got a three hundred pound Greek to back her more ways than one...!

And of course, Agent XXX. The name is admittedly one of the worst and most tasteless of the JBG puns. However, in combat, the fact that she is the leading KGB Agent of her time, stands to prove her lethal prowess.

Narrowing down the spectrum, I leave further conclusions to be made at your discression, dear reader.

AngelusJC writes:

In the immortal words of Homer J. Simpson "You know what's great about you English? Octopussy! I must've seen that movie....*ponders for a moment*...twice.

Der UBERGEEK writes:

Well...there's no denying that the BABE FACTOR (tm, WWWF) runs strong with these six femmes. However, our esteemed CBUB Drafters left out one helluva contender: Grace Jones, AKA Mayday from "View to a Kill."

While not a BABE by most standards, Mayday did display a SERIOUS mean streak, impressive upper-body strength (hefted a KGB agent like a sack of turnips), and enough balls (or the female equivalent) to blow herself up helping Bond stop the Bad Guy (some creepy blond Aryan dude...I forget the name).

Another point in Grace's favor involves Other Movie Roles(r), a common ploy at the Grudge Match(tm again). Of course, Christmas Jones (forgot the "real" name again) has also starred in at least one non-Bond movie, so I'll narrow it down to whatever backup/extra powers these two could claim from their alternate film roles:

Grace- Portrayed an undead stripper in the horror flick "Vamp." Last time I checked, vampires were fairly popular around the Khazan scene, and as far as I know, none of our official contestants have any experience or weaponry appropriate for taking one down. So unless a certified Slayer happens to be in the audience, our other Bond girls are in for some Hurting(tm).

Christmas- Was the pilot of a transport/assault craft in "Starship Troopers." Spent a lot of time evading surface-to-air energy blasts from super-sized cockroaches. Had a tense faceoff with the Brain Bug. Passing acquaintance with Jake Busey. Character-building experiences, I'm sure, but not much good against Afro-American Vampiric Bodybuilders (now THERE'S a minority group for ya!).

All in all, consider this a write-in vote for Grace/Mayday. Since Christmas Jones was the only other Bond chick I could remember anything about, she comes a close second (that didn't sound right, did it?).

Bosda Di'Chi writes:

You gotta love a homicidal, hooter-licious, Greek with a crossbow.

You gotta, 'cause if ya don't, she shoots you! :D


Batta' Masta' writes:

Okay, this was a hard choice, but over all, there are only a few things that will let ol' christmass win.

First, she's the newest chick. Now, we've seen her disarm nukes, what about using one on the others. Hell, wherever James goes, things blow up. So I say, get James to lure the others into a space, and BLAMO! Up goes the nuke.

Second, my vote was limited to 4 out of six, I have not seen two of the movies mentioned, so Octopussy and Melina Havelock are two I can't vote on.

Third, The doctor lookes like she can handle herself. But against a russian spy? I have the answer. The KGB has been 'officially' discontinued. Which means that in modern day. Jonsey would have nothing to fear.

The Dweller writes:

WOW! I feel like I'm judging a beauty contest here! I also feel like Paris, a greek man who was confronted by 3 goddesses and they asked him who was the most beautiful of them all. Well here are my three choices:Christmas Jones, Mary Goodnight, and Anya Amasova! The others don't have a chance. These 3 Bond girls are the best in my book! However as in the moive:Highlander"THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" So this is what I think, both Mary Goodnight and Anya Amasova did help to save the world in their past episodes. But that's the past I'm more for the Present. My votes for Christmas Jones!

openly totaly writes:

There are i figure 3 catagories to this brawl: fighting ability, looks(ya im male), and character(yes i know they're bond girls).

Mary Goodnight, cant remember what she hit, no points there, she's a bond girl(most will score here, haha, I pun, I pun...) 1 point, but again its been a long time since i saw that movie, and she doesn't stand out particulary in my mind.

total = 1/3 points

Honey Rider

well she's a swimmer, and she seems to have survived long enough on her own, but i dont recall any judo chopping, so .5 points in the fighting area. she was the first bond girl, 1.5 points there, and as for character, well she's a bond girl(damn im saying that alot), so 0 points.

total = 2/3 points

Anya Amasova

spy, need i say more, 1.5 points.

not a particulary good looker for a bond girl, 0 points.

character, well, again its been a wile, wasn't that the one with that giant undersea thing?? 0 points.


Christmas Jones

she's bichy so .5 points in the fighting area.

"Jingle jingle" 1.5 points in the looks department

character, well becides the odd chistmass joke... 0 points

total 2/3

Melina Havalock

one of my favorite bond girls, she actually killed somebody, and she was with the whole team when they stormed that cliff thing, so 1 point in the fighting area.

she definitly is a bond girl, 1 well defined, long legged point there.

character... ya her parents murered infront of her, the whole vengance thing, ya shes got it here too, 1 point

total 3/3


another fave

i think she offed somebody, nonethe less she is a circus performer and all that rot, so 1 point.

looks, okydokey, .5 points

character, she did have an octopus, does that count?? ran her own organization, some kind of ego thing.. 1 point


well there you have it Melina bests them all with Octopussy close behind.

Aww, forget Melina, Odd-Job walks in on the sceen, sees a bunch of bond chicks, and starts tossing his hat around.

Phantom Dennis writes:

Octopussy all the way! The 80s Roger Moore movies get a bad rap, but Xena fans should really see Octopussy, especially the big Storming the Castle sequence. Octopussy is not only a formidable acrobat. She trained a whole island full of woman warriors. Even she opts to be a baby-face and not rely on corner-woman interference. Her experience training and sparring with a variety of women gives her edge in this contest.

I commend CBUB someone who might runaway with the votes like Michelle Yeoh. The biggest competition is Denise Richards, whose character is not very formidible in a fight.

420allday writes:

I just voted for Denise Richards cuz she has the biggest boobs. Octopussy wouldn't be a bad choice either though, cuz she has the word pussy in her name. Pussy Galore would have been an even better choice, but she wasn't avaiable.

Grinnygrim writes:

NO. Theres no way that you could have had this battle without the card lady, that one that could tell the future. She would have won it, definitly won it. She would have known what was going to happen, and then simply won this catfight, skinning the others with her claws.

You should do the tarot babe verses gambit some time. They're both card players.

As it is, I vote for octupussy, cause she looks the oldest and the hardest and the baddest (two d's or one?)

Maturity wins me over baby!

Gosunkugi writes:

I am hormone-loaded and fourteen years old. Obviously, I'm going to pick the one with the most arousing and perverted name. So, despite the fact that her movie is the black sheep of the Bond series (Every time I look at the list of Bond movies, they ignore it), I'm voting Octopussy all the way.

He Who Cannot Be Named writes:

Sorry, haven't posted a comment since Irwin VS Godzilla...

For this Battle I went with Honey, though I imagine that the votes will make Christmas Jones win.

My Reason?

Jonesy is the latest Bond Girl(tm) and thus, the best known at the moment...however I Voted for Honey as she was THE ORIGINAL BOND GIRL(tm)...every one who came after was just an attempt to recreate that original success...It has actually been stated that all the Bond Girls(tm) that followed were just an attempt to recreate the original (see comments in Movie And Video Reviews 2000...I think thats it)...Not one of them has been even close...

I love Bond movies and all the Bond Girls...but I say "Go with the Original!!!"

Rockitman writes:

How the hell is Christmas Jones winning? I mean, Denise Richards is hot and all, but she couldnt act her way out of a paper bag.

You have to go to the spy on the fly. Anya!

When you were a child and stared into the dark, I stared back into you.

Afgncaap5 writes:

Everyone knows that a character with no name (such as a red shirted ensign) is an unimportant, easily dispatched character. From this, we can assume that the more emphasis that is put on a name, the more important (and possible more powerful) the character is. Octopussy, being the only Bond Girl with an entire movie title for a name, will therefore be more powerful than the other five combined.

the ace of knaves writes:

My money is without a doubt on "honey rider". You just can't improve on the original. And man , this gal is tough , tough , tough. I could be wrong , but didn't I read in the novel that as a young girl/ woman honey was molested by a man and to get even she put a black widow spider in his bed ? Man , you just don't wanna mess with this babe ! So I say "dos vidanya" Amasova , "goodnight" Mary , "humbug" Christmas , "nice try but no cigar" Melina and "nice hit but no squid" octopussy. Honey has this one in the bag (though I have no idea where that bag is located on that skimpy bathing costume)

The Match Maker writes:

MI6. Need I say more? Mary Goodnight is a British secret agent. Which means she's learned how to *fight*.

This match will come down to the secret agents, Mary and Anya. And as we all know, Russia *lost* the Cold War. So there you are. Once more the Western �imperialist dogs� show who really is running the show on the world stage.

Phil writes:

AAARGH! All you Pansy Little Bond fans are lacking in their Intelligence Factors In this contest. It seems this is a fight to the death, so, the ugliest piece of A with Martial Arts like Bruce Lee could win it, so stop voting for Christmas Jones! SHE HAS NO SKILLZ! She can calculate a mean half-life on some spent U-238 Rods but in the ring, she will be rent limb from limb. Amasova in reality is the big winner, for one reason. The Reason is three letters. KGB. Done. That's it, pack what's left of the others in Ziploc Body Bags and send it off to US Public School Cafeterias for Steak and Cheese Day. The others are just overly wimpy wimmens so Bond can get his freak on.

One last question, you make a Bond Girl Contest and forget PUSSY GALORE? You people are killing me.

Pierce Brosnan is a dips**t and

OddJob Needs to take care of all these fools.

Sam's Uncle writes:

first of all i have to say that Harley Quinn's statement about Christmas Jones being hot is not only very peculiar in a way i can't quite put my finger on, but also true. And Callisto's statement about Honey's name was very kind but being hot is better than having a nice name. That's halfly why i picked Mrs Christmas.

Also correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't she work with nuclear bombs or some type of "boom" thing? so let's take a look at what might happen in the fight.

Christmas vs. Honey bombs beat diving. sorry honey-pun intended

Christmas vs. russian chick, now i admit the russain girl is good looking and all (Xena's better though)however the fight would be better put in these words bombs vs. spying and bombs will most likely prevail. and it's the sam concept with Mrs.Goodnight.

Christmas vs. Melina Havelock

considering i've never seen the movie that she's in from what i've heard she uses a crossbow, and i've also heard bombs are better than crossbows

Christmas vs. Octopussy

just for the record Octopussy was a sly little devil except i never saw what bond saw in this lady and frankly she looks old and just plain ugly fugly. Anywho the jewel thief uses acrobatics several times but i suggest for her to get a gun. Again bombs vs. gymnastics what do you think? That is why i voted for Christmas, and further more i vote for her to wear no bra like the other bond girls just some advice

LieutenantX writes:

It's going to be a massive draw. Forget fighting, have them devote their energies into other, more entertaining and inappropriate pursuits.

My vote goes to Christmas Jones, though, because if you tilt your head to the right a bit and look at her pic'...

And what kind of a name is Octopussy? The first time I heard that, I had a very bad mental image!

El Kabong writes:

Let's look at the fightint skills of the contestants. Everyone but Christmas came from the seventies or earlier. That means that even if they were secret agents, it meant they could execute deadly manuevers like a judo chop and kick to the shins. Nothing that the good doctor, clearly a nineties sort of woman who probably had to learn basic self-defense to fend off the horny russian guys she worked with, has no disadvantage from not being a secret agent. That said, combat skills are fairly equal and this one then comes down to will power, and Christmas wins. Why? It took James the ENTIRE MOVIE to nail her. The others? Bent over halfway through or earlier. Christmas? Not until the end. That takes will power.

Man with unsightly bulge writes:

Nice fight! Can we not just chuck them in an economy sized paddling pool of baked beans minus their swimming cossies and...

... er, sorry about that, let me just compose myself. (Sound of zipper) Ah, that's better! There is a slight problem with this fight, that is the fact that I see Christmas running away with this one for all the wrong reasons (She's Miss Richards, she was in the most recent Bond flick, she's got the biggest jugs and she's got lips that - whoa! Better stop there!) The fact that she only disarmed a nuclear bomb doesn't bode well, not compared to Octopussy (Now there is a distressing image!) who I believe popped up twice as a Bond girl. Surely this means that she should earn the title of hardest Bondette? Melina Havelock had a crossbow, that means (Where the hell am I going with this!) she could, er kill rabbits from vast distances... screw this, this is too hard to argue - I give it to 'jugs,' Christmas with a nuclear holocaust of a win.




Callisto:   OK, our contestants have entered the sand. The crowd goes nuts! The contestants are equally spaced around the back wall of the fighters pit.

Harley Quinn:   And, we should note that all our lady contestants today are wearing American Gladiator like lycra fighting outfits, with the logos of their charity stuck all over 'em.

Callisto:   And, there's the bell! This fight is on!

Harley Quinn:   All six women charge across the sand to do battle with one another.

Callisto:   Anya Amasova and Honey Ryder have both chosen to rush Mary Goodnight from opposite sides. Mary who has stopped dead like a deer in headlights as she sees the blitz.

Harley Quinn:   And, on the oposite end of the ring, Octopussy and Melena Havelock have gone after one another, while Christmas Jones brings up the rear to catch up with them.

Callisto:   I think this is about to get confusing, Clown Girl. I'll watch one end of the ring, and you watch the other.

Harley Quinn:   Yah, good idea. Let's get a split view on the screen, too, for da' people at home. OK, so we got Anya da' KGB spy and Diver Girl Honey Ryder about to intersect with Mary Goodnight! And... uh... Mary looks confused and is just standing there.

Callisto:   Octopussy and Melena have connected and engaged in battle! The vengeful Greek and the acrobatic thief trade a couple early bitch slaps to the roar of the crowd! Christmas, still running to get in on the action.

Harley Quinn:   Mary Goodnight... oh, I see. One of her earrings fell off. Poor girl. She bends down to pick it up...

Callisto:   Melina goes for a roundhouse on Octopussy... Octopussy ducks and spins for a leg sweep! It's good! Melina's feet are knocked out from under her! She hits the sand.

Harley Quinn:   ...and ducking to pick up the earring, Mary Goodnight inadvertantly causes the racing Honey Ryder to trip over her! Honey gets a mouthfull of sand as Anya changes her target! Anya leaps! She comes crashing down on Honey Ryder with an elbow to the jaw! Ouch!

Callisto:   On the ground, it's Melina. Octopussy wastes no time delivering an expert kick to Melina's mid section. And another! And a kick to the face! But here comes Christmas Jones...

Harley Quinn:   Well, Honey Ryder is out of this fight... knocked out cold by Anya. Anya stands up... and sucker punches Mary Goodnight while she fiddles with her earring. That's two down.

Callisto:   Christmas Jones does a flying leap tackle at Octopussy! and misses! Octopussy is just too agile and gets out of the way!

Harley Quinn:   And, Anya now... running across the fighter's pit to the other three! OK, I think we can drop the split screen now.

Callisto:   Right. Christmas Jones and Melena both on the ground. Melina obviously in pain. Another quick kick from Octopussy... Melina is KO'ed.

Harley Quinn:   But Christmas... grabs onna Octopussy's leg and brings her to the ground!

Callisto:   The crowd goes wild as the two women wrestle around on the sand!

Harley Quinn:   Anya, cantching up to the action. Still not there yet. Christmas, manages to roll onto Octopussy, trying to pin her.

Callisto:   But no! Octopussy wraps her legs around Christmas Jones' waist and tears her off!

Harley Quinn:   Wahoo! Just in time for Anya to make an appearance. She goes down on one knee and executes a perfect Karate Chop to the neck of Octopussy! Octopussy goes out cold! That's three down from Anya, KGB spy!

Callisto:   As Christmas kicks out at Anya! OUCH! A foot right to the face! Broken nose out there and we got blood on the sand!

Harley Quinn:   Anya topples back, and Christmas Jones is all over her like a mad tiger!

Callisto:   Christmas follows up the face kick with punch after punch! Looks like the ref is gonna call this one.




'Nuff Said!


Christmas Jones: 397

Octopussy: 236

Mary Goodnight: 216

Melina Havelock: 155

Honey Ryder: 127

Anya Amasova: 122




Harley Quinn:   Well, that's a wrap! Christmas Jones takes it all.

Callisto:   For me, Clown Girl and all the knocked out ladies, goodnight.

[The Comic Book Universe Battles]



"Callisto" is the property of Renaissance Pictures, MCA TV.

"Harley Quinn" is the property of DC comics.

This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.