The CBUB Character Database

ISSUE #115

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Bond Girl Blowout

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Cthulhu vs. Dr. Strange and Dr. Fate

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Batman vs. Captain America

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Iceman vs. The Human Torch

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The Thing vs. Colossus

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The Predator vs. The Road Runner

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Lara Croft vs. Indiana Jones

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Smurfs vs. Snorks

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Martial Mayhem - Round Three!

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Boba Fett vs. Batman

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Master Yoda vs. Professor Xavier

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Thundarr vs. Conan vs. Beastmaster

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Mum-Ra vs. Skeletor

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Voltron vs. Power Ranger's Zord

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Amityville House vs. Overlook Hotel

ISSUE #88

Parallax vs. Dark Phoenix

Xena & Callisto: Catfight!
CALLISTO

Vs. XENA

THE SCENARIO

It had to happen. The final shootout between these two bitter enemies.

Get out'a the way folks... 'cause HERE COMES TROUBLE!

THE SPORTS BOX

NOTE: This battle takes place directly after events described in last weeks battle XENA vs. WONDER WOMAN.

PAT:  Welcome, and if you are just joining us, Xena has eaten Ambrosia, the mystical substance which grants cosmic power, and used her new God-Like abilities to blast Wonder Woman out of the stadium! Now it looks like Xena and Callisto are squaring off for a show down of some kind. The sheilds are lowering on the SportsBox, here, as we broadcast Live from our God-Proof bunker. Hello, I'm Pat Summers.

JAY:   And I'm Jay Peoples. You know Pat this match has to be one of the most unexpected and yet the most highly anticipated matches that had to be. With so much riding on this bout, neither of these titilating titans want to lose. This will be winner takes all! Now let's patch in to some Live comments from the crowd....

YOUR OPINIONS

Chomper 2 writes:


Callisto should also win cause she's more exciting! She has spunk, ambition, and not to mention- she's GROOVY! I love it when women kick butt! Its the best! Please, give the bad chicks a chance!


Jennifer writes:


Xena has to win because she's the only one in the cedits at the begining of the show!

Drew Martin writes

The warrior princess has been queen of the hill for too long, and it's time for Callisto to shove her into the hurtlocker. In the words of Dark Helmet: "Evil will always triumph over good, because good is dumb."

THE BATTLE

PAT:  Powerful stuff there, Jay! We're getting word now from the Emergancy Medical Respose Team that Wonder Woman was just stunned by the blow Xena gave her and will be fine. She's a trooper, that one...

JAY:   That is a relief Pat. I didn't think Xena realized how strong she was when she hit Wonder Woman. Wait! There's activity down in the ring, now... Oh My Goodness...!

PAT:  ...The clash of steel and we are underway, folks! Sparks fly across the sand as these two most hated enemies Callisto and Xena cross swords! Both women are positively glowing with the effects of Ambrosia, giving them Maximum Power. Callisto is grinning... Xena is smiling... The crowd is trying to leave the stadium! Man, this is gonna be good.

JAY:   The sound from their swords clashing together is ear shattering. The speed of their weapons is impossible to follow but somehow they both are managing to block each other attacks. They're moving so quickly that they're starting a small wind storm that's blowing the sand in the ring. I can feel the power radiating from them both all the way up here!!!

PAT:  That's right Jay, and the crowds are getting the message, too, as the front rows are scrambling for the exits. Xena is making a play now.... sound please...

-AIYIYIYIIYIYIYIYIYIYIIYIYIY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JAY:   A Mega Roundhouse to Callisto's chin! WOW!! Xena knocks her out of the ring and sends her crashing into the stands where the crowd was just moments before. That kick sent her deep into section AA6. Wait... Xena is now pursuing Callisto into the stands, the fight has now left the ring! The stadium staff is running for cover!

PAT:  Callisto is ripping blocks of stone out of the wall... throwing them at Xena.... Xena is ducking the... Wait! Fake Out! Callisto hits Xena with a forcebolt knocking her back into the sand!

JAY:   Callisto in a single bound leaps back into the ring. Xena is up and facing her. The two are staring at each other as energy crackles from their hands. It looks like a shoot out at high noon! Xena is saying something to Callisto.... can we get a mike on this?

PAT:  Sorry Jay, the sound man says he is getting the heck out a' here.

JAY:   DOH! Anyway, Callisto is apparently incensed by whatever Xena said and fires a energy bolt. Xena leaps and...

PAT:  And a perfect flying spin jump over Callisto's head! WHOOSH! Xena has grabbed Callisto... is trying to restrain her...

JAY:   Callisto is struggling to free herself... OUCH! Callisto tries to finger jab Xena in the eyes! You know Pat, I heard rumors that Callisto secretly watches the Three Stooges...

PAT:  Xena Tightens her hold on Callisto... Picks her up... Oh My.... DOUBLE SUPLEX!! Callisto eats sand and ... Jay, the battle between these two angry, ultra-powered women has started an earthquake...

JAY:   Yes Pat, and it feels like it's getting stronger but I don't care, what a match!! Xena grabs Callisto by the ankles and throws her into the north wall... And there goes the north wall!! Smashed to peices.

PAT:  Callisto is up... She's Growing ... She is using her Ambrosia Powers to get Giant Sized!

JAY:   Xena is a little taken back. She doesn't have Callisto's experience with her new godhood. Callisto's is HUGE! It's the attack of the 50' woman for REAL! She's going to swat Xena like a fly...

PAT:  Wham! Callisto's huge hand smacks... No!... Xena rolled and she's holding her chakram, now... Wait... I can't see, a dust cloud has risen from the impact and... there seem to be cracks opening in the earth, now...

JAY:   ..Xena throws her chakram and strikes Callisto on the bridge of her nose. She's clutching her face and she's falling back! CCRASSHH!!!!.... and there goes the entire east wing of the Khazan Stadium.

PAT:  Fissures are opening in the earth, swallowing peices of the Stadium. The area is totally decimated.... Xena is hopping across the uneven ground, now... but it's hard to follow... the SportsBox here is shaking violently...

JAY:   Callisto is shrinking back to normal size... she is going back after Xena. They're still both looking in great shape but they're beating the heck of the Stadium. I'm going to miss this Stadium Pat...

PAT:   ..and look there's Thor. He's watching the fight from the what's left of the cheap seats and looking a little smug considering he started this entire mess by giving Xena the Ambrosia to enable her to beat Wonder Woman.

JAY:   Callisto and Xena are closing back on each other. They're leaping over the various fissures to reach each other. Callisto stops and is waving to Xena, calling her on. Xena is running hard and leaps in a flying leap kick.... Callisto is just STANDING there. Xena is going to hit her.... Callisto teleports!!!!

PAT:  ...And reappears behind Xena... Xena rolls, but Callisto has the advantage... Callisto tags Xena! Blood in the sand!

JAY:   Xena is hurting and Callisto is closing in before she can fully recover. Xena fires off a energy bolt... Callisto dodges... Callisto is moving in and she's looking hungry Pat!!

PAT:  Xena senses she could be in danger, Jay. Here's Callisto with another swipe... Xena rolls, kicks out... Xena has just tripped Callisto, Folks! Xena takes advantage, now... jumps on Callisto... The Hellcats are rolling in the sand at each others throats!

JAY:   This is vicious Pat. They're choking and punching at each other. They were smiling when this match started but not now. Someone may not be walking away from this. They're still rolling and exchanging punches... they're heading for a open fissure... I don't think they see it.... PAT they gone over!!!! I can't see them!!!

PAT:  The smoke and dust is too thick! I can't... wait, what's this? Callisto is standing over the chasm... and Xena is holding on to the ledge by her fingertips!

JAY:   They're looking at each other... we can't tell if they're saying anything because the soundman ran for it. Wait!! Callisto is reaching out for Xena...she's helping Xena up... No! Callisto flings Xena over her head by the arm and smashes her on the ground with a earth shattering BOOM!!

PAT:  There is actually a Xena shaped hole in the ground, Jay. Unbelievable!! Unbelievable!!

JAY:   The impact of Xena into the earth was the last straw for the Stadium. There is nothing but rubble, smoke and fire out there folks. Luckily, in the the God-Proof safety of the SportsBox, Pat and I are safe from the Devastation.

PAT:  Callisto is laughing her head off. She's dancing around, and yelling into the pit ... I can't see Xena. Is this it? Is it over?

JAY:   Callisto is walking away... still no sign of Xena. I think this one is history.

PAT:  No.. Someone's out there... Oh. It's Mayor of the city. He does NOT look happy with the state of his prized Stadium.

JAY:   Well, that's not for us to worry about.

PAT:  Oh, and here comes Xena crawling out of the hole, now. She's got that look on her face...

JAY:   Yes, she knows that she has lost this one. But there is always next time.

PAT:  Well, from what's left of Khazan Stadium I'm Pat Summers.

JAY:   And I'm Jay Peoples. See you next week when Herk takes on the Tick.

THE FINAL VOTE

'Nuff Said!

Vote Final:

Xena: 119

Callisto: 225

THE WRAP UP

The Part of Pat written by Serge - Electric Ferret Studios

The Part of Jay written by Shawn - Callisto Tales

CBUB: The Comic Book Universe Battles