The CBUB Character Database

ISSUE #177

Master Yoda vs. Professor Xavier


Lara Croft vs. Indiana Jones

ISSUE #160

Wonder Woman vs. Thor


Justice League vs. X-Men

ISSUE #131

Kingpin vs. Penguin vs. Jabba the Hutt


Bugs Bunny vs. Mickey Mouse

ISSUE #176

Daredevil vs. Snake Eyes

ISSUE #132

The Punisher vs. France


Boba Fett vs. Batman


Jawas vs. Ewoks

ISSUE #157

Iceman vs. The Human Torch


The Borg vs. Aliens


Lex Luthor vs. Dr. Doom

ISSUE #138

Wonder Woman vs. She-Hulk


Shaggy vs. Dagwood vs. Jughead

ISSUE #126

Q vs. Mr. Mxyzptkl

ISSUE #141

Braveheart vs. Maximus

ISSUE #128

Martial Mayhem - Round Two!


Smurfs vs. Snorks

ISSUE #142

Spiderman vs. Wolverine


Hulk vs. Doomsday vs. Juggernaut

ISSUE #107

Tom and Sylvester vs. Jerry and Tweety

ISSUE #175

Luke Skywalker vs. Paul Atredis


Mach 5 vs. Batmobile


Iron Man vs. Steel

ISSUE #137

The Predator vs. The Road Runner


Robotech Defense Force vs. The Decepticons


South Park vs. Peanuts

ISSUE #103

Cthulhu vs. Dr. Strange and Dr. Fate


Keebler Elves vs. Krispy Elves

ISSUE #129

Martial Mayhem - Round Three!

ISSUE #150

Matrix vs. Crouching Tiger


Mario vs. Sonic


Catwoman vs. Bat Girl

ISSUE #144

Kerrigan vs. Diablo

ISSUE #136

The Thing vs. Colossus

ISSUE #171

Batman vs. Dr. Doom


Borg Cube vs. Death Star

ISSUE #127

Martial Mayhem - Round One!


Leisure Suit Larry vs. Austin Powers

Hot Dogs

REN HOEK En Garde! Yo Querio
Ren Hoek
The Taco Bell Chihuahua


They're both hungry... They're both short of funds... and they're both scrappy chihuahuas. The question: In the mean streets downtown Khazan, who scores a free lunch first?

Join us now in a battle of wits and appetites in a fight we had to call....

The Great Food Court Swindle

This fight was suggested by Jeff "T-Rex" Hayes.


PAT:   Live from Downtown Khazan, we are trailing a couple of hungry customers wh are looking to score a free meal. Hello, I'm Pat Summers.

JAY:   And I'm Jay Peoples. Our contestants Ren Hoek and the Taco Bell Chihuahua are just kind of stretching and scratching now... just becomming aware of that gnawing rumble in the tummy which tells them "time to eat".

PAT:   Yes indeed! And there's no shortage of resturaunts, eateries and fast food joints, here. If they can score a meal anywhere, it's here.

JAY:   That's right Pat. Now, while they cast about for opportunities, lets see what the crowd had to say...


Mr. Horse says:

(Click to hear Mr. Horse)

jungle bunny writes:

This at first glance would have to be TTBC i mean did you see the way he tore up that dog toy? But then you remember Ren has those massive pectoral muscles that and Stimpy's flying butt grab slam put this match in the bag

MMack Salmon writes:

Ren would win this one easliy,he would just slap the chiuaua to death,and all the Taco Bell dog would do is speak spanish.

WhereWolf writes:

Ren's gonna' kick Tacobelle's butt! We've all seen how Ren can get when he's mad. However, since this looks more like "Who can get a free meal first" kinda' thing, I'm afraid Tacobelle may win out. . . he is cuter, you know; and Ren's got those "stinky-holes!" in his mouth that would ward off any charitable soul. Still, I think Ren could come up with something to win-over a free meal.

Squidboy writes:

Isn't it obvious? Ren is old and tired and would probably lie down to take a nap after being turned down a couple of times. OTOH, TTBC has boundless energy, I mean, he hit that three pointer with ease. He'd just beat the snot out of unsuspecting passersby and take their food. That, or he'd eat Ren.

Shaukkor writes:

I certainly wouldn't want to do battle with Ren. He is the epitome of true RAGE!

Grifter writes:

I bet on the T.T.B.C 'cause he's cute smart and funny and at least looks real. Ren Hoek is just a cartoon and doesn't seem that smart...

Skeearmon writes:

Unh, unh, no commericial is gonna' stand the test of time. Let alone a dog. For example, anyone remember Spudinsky, the Budweiser Dog?

Juan F. Lara writes:

Get real. You're pitting one of the best cartoon characters in recent shows against a Tio Tomas ("Uncle Tom", for the spanish impaired) hawking corporate fake-ethnic food.

Rouge 15 writes:

Definitely the Taco Bell Chihuahua. He's got the looks, the style, and the moves to pull it off! I mean, he was able to sneak into a car unnoticed, AND get the drivers to take him where he wanted to go! You gotta admit, that's tough! And when, if ever did Ren do anything as good? As I recall, he ALWAYS loses, and it's usually his fault. Therefore, the T.B.C. is the winner hands-down!(Or is that paws-down?)

LordFish writes:

I was going to go with Ren because, well think about it he has all those cartoon super powers and such, while TTBC guy is just a talking chihuahua. Then I analyzed the facts, Ren is a loser, he always has been and always will be, anything he aspires to he will fail in. TTBC has dedicated his (At least I think its a him) entire life to the pursuit of Taco-Bells rather crappy food offerings.

Eduardo writes:

Anybody who can eat the crap served at Taco Bell (let alone want more!) either has a stomach of steel or is absolutely loco en la cabeza (or both).

And for whatever reason, the chica chihuahuas seem to go for the TTBC.

So popular opinion, incredibly strong metabolism, and ultimately the scrap must go to the TTBC -- annoying as he is. Adios, Ren!

Artemis writes:

I love Taco bell, but that little dog hasn't ever demonstrated ANY propensity for violence, while Ren ALWAYS has been one pissed off little dude.

Break Man Z writes:

I have only two things to say to the T.B.C.

1. Are you nuts?!?!?

2. Do you know a good coroner?

After all, Ren's got the experience in beating up people from Stimpy , plus he's a cartoon character. This is a major disadvantage to the T.B.C. My prediction: Ren drops a yak on the T.B.C. after slapping him around a couple times. Total time: 2 minutes even.

ROYCOOL writes:

Ren has this in the bag. All that stupid Taco Bell dog can say is "I want Taco Bell". Ren has a much larger vocabulary. In fact, the townspeople will be so impressed that they will give Ren a big steak.

Erik Wirtz writes:


Michelle Klein-Hass, editor of Animation Nerd's Paradise writes:

Ren Hoek has it all over the Taco Bell Chihuahua. You gotta see "Sven Hoek", particularly in the uncut version, to know just how fierce that Asthma-hound Chihuahua can get. Unfortunately the best evidence of Ren Hoek's fighting ability is not available unless you want to dive into the tape-trading underground: the Nickelodeon-banned "Man's Best Friend" climaxes with Ren Hoek beating the tar out of the very tough George Liquor, American. The Taco Bell Chihuahua is just an ordinary chihuahua. No contest.

LVtheman writes:

The little taco bell dog can shoot free-throws, but I've seen how Ren smacks Stimpy around. Ren should take this one- unless of course the taco-dog farts or gives Ren a Burrito with some disgusting foreign object in it.

Just Dave writes:

Having had absolutely no experience with the Taco Bell mutt I feel amply qualified to Vote 1 Ren Hoek, a hero among small yappy dogs.

Corwyn writes:

I highly Doubt that the little taco eating fur ball has any rubber walrus protectors....

PurelyCoincidental writes:

I'm not sure if the Taco Bell Chihuahua ever actually gets any food, but we know Ren never does; he'll do all the work, take a ton of punishment, and Stimpy'll end up getting everything, driving Ren completely insane. Meanwhile, TTBC just sits there speaking Spanish, so he wins by default.

ferret writes:

STIMPY! You EEEEDIOT! How could you vote for anyone but me?

Gosh, Ren, I was only trying to help.

TTBC is enough to make all of us puke. Ren all the way!

Sgt. Hulka writes:

Ren is the all time champion. No little english speaking dog with big ears will ever sell me a Taco. Taco Bell sucks anyways. I prefer real Mexican food, not that Pepsi processed crap. Long Live Ren. Kricfalusi Rules!

The Bunyip writes:

Normally one would think Ren would have this one in the bag - but don't forget the Stimpy factor. Stimpy will get involved, screw up everything for Ren, And the "live" Chihuahua will walk off with a six pack of tacos. Of course, then he'll be sued by the Hispanic Anti-defamation league because the Taco bell commercials defame the Spanish Speaking community.

Caine, the betrayer writes:

Ren's cool and everything, but come on--this is about getting food. Ren is just WAY too abrasive to persuade anyone to give him any thing other than a swift kick in the rear!

On the other hand, T.T.B.C.'s (hope I'm not breaking trademarks here...) whole existance depends on his ability to convince people to give him some yum-yum. I figure that he'll be munchin on some nachos bellgrande and mexican pizzas before Ren gets tossed into the street for the second time!

Jeff "T-Rex" Hayes writes:

Well what can I say I always root for the underdog(no pun intended). T.T.B.C is the Robert Forester of Chihuahuas and Ren is kinda like that wuss Robin Williams he will win undoubtably but the little guy has class I dont belive T.T.B.C would treat his best friend like crap the way that Ren does so that is also giving a vote to him. Never treat your friends the way Ren treats Stimpy it is just not good. NUFF SAID!!!!!!

Firestar writes:

Ren will eat that miserable little dog!

Crunch writes:

If TacoHell/Pepsico had two hemispheres to rub together, they would immediately fire that little over-exposed inbred hydrocephalic pup, and crawl on hands and knees to John K. and beg to make Ren Hoek the new spokesdog; whoever owns R&S currently -- (eMpTyV/Nickelodious?) would fold quickly for a few dollars. At least Aardman grabbed a few bucks from BurgerKing, and that cartoon wasn't even funny!

BigDuck writes:

comments: What's T.T.B.C. gonna do? Fling lettuce and salsa at Ren?

Fluffy da' Bunny writes:

Suuure, they're both (now) owned by evil empires, but who's kewl-er? Obviously Ren! John K. Rules, Man!!

Z-Man writes:

Ren Hoek, no contest. T.T.B.C. may be able to land a shot from halfcourt, but Ren has pushed the history-eraser button and lived. Also, Stimpy could easily rub out T.T.B.C.

Sailor Callisto writes:

Frankly, I hope that a truck drives over Ren. I hate him. He should DIE! LONG LIVE THE TACO BELL DOGGY!

Saberlock writes:

When it comes down to it, people would give the Taco Bell dog (let's call him T.B.) their food in hopes of getting rich off of owning a talking dog. Ren on the other hand would not get anything. Even though he is a talking dog, he is a cartoon, and we all saw how well cartoons do in the real world in Sprite's Sunfizz comercial. People would hunt down Ren trying to kill him. He might even be captured by the MiB and disected. If it comes down to a fight over the food, then T.B. would still win because he is much smarter and more colected that Ren. Let's face it, most anything is smarter than Ren. You should have put T.B. against a more worth apponent, like Garfield. Of course as soon as T.B. mentions Taco Bell, the fight would be over because both of them would leave the arena to go there.


JAY:   Okay, were on now... and T.T.B.C. is scooting up to an elderly couple, prepared to make a play...

PAT:   Ren has, meanwhile, found some old clothes in a dumpster and is proceeding to dress... uh... in a dress!

JAY:   T.T.B.C has stopped in front of the elderly couple... T.T.B.C. is Saying something to the couple...

PAT:   Ren is now dressed in drag and in proceeding to walk boldly into one of the area's best French resturaunts....

JAY:   Pat, the elderly couple is smiling at T.T.B.C.... and they're giving him a bag of tacos!!!

PAT:   Jay, we have Ren in the resturaunt now... and he's ordering quite an array of fine food... wait, he's saying something now...

JAY:   Pat, the T.T.B.C. has hid his food, and is shamelessly hitting up on a pair of dudes... the T.T.B.C. says...

PAT:   Jay, we seem to have a problem in the resuraunt... they're serving ren just what he asked for... Escargot and Steak Tar-Tar... raw meat and a plate of snails. He's speaking hot words with the waiter....

JAY:   Yeah, but the T.T.B.C. is recieving another free bag of taco's... and a fajita wrap! What a score!

PAT:   Ren has been ejected from the French cuisine.. he's walking up to people and telling 'em to give him some food....

JAY:   Meanwhile, T.T.B.C is shamelessly scamming off a young woman, saying yet again...

PAT:   Ren is being rejected again and again... boy he looks steamed. Whoa, he's yelling at one of his marks, now...

JAY:   T.T.B.C. is now hauling a virtual feast of all his hand-out's down the street. He's going to be into some serious munching here in a moment....

PAT:   Wait, Jay... Ren Hoek has spotted the T.T.B.C., skittering with his bags of food down the street. Yikes! He looks burnt! He's speaking... something Oh, this could get ugly...

JAY:   Ren has raced up to the T.T.B.C.... he is standing in his way!!

PAT:   T.T.B.C. drops the bags of food. He's giving Ren the "Eyes" and saying to him...

JAY:   Oh, Bad Move. Ren is over the top. He screams, and leaps at T.T.B.C....

PAT:   T.T.B.C is ready for action! It's a rumble in the street!

JAY:   A cloud of dust is forming... I can't see...


'Nuff Said!


T.T.B.C: 171

Ren Hoek: 293


PAT:   Ren kicks the unconscious T.T.B.C once more for good measure and stalks off with the food.

JAY:   Game and Lunch set and match to Ren Hoek.

Pictures for this weeks big fight came from:

CBUB: The Comic Book Universe Battles