Callisto: The mighty Arena gates which lead to the fighters pit are opening... and stepping out from either end of the arena our fighters today.
Harley Quinn: Steppin' from 'da North end gate it's the Return of the Jedi Luke Skywalker! An from da' South Gate it's Emperor Paul Atredis!
Callisto: The crowd goes wild!
Harley Quinn: Positioned around the Arena fighters pit are many weapons racks. These weapons racks are stocked with a selection of various old skool hand-to-hand weapons. Swords, axes, maces and polearms.
Callisto: Paul Atredis steps to a nearby rack and grabs two short stabbing swords.
Harley Quinn: Luke Skywalker looks over his own selection and choses from the rack a long, thin fencing sword.
Callisto: To the howl of the crowd the two contender walk towards each other across the arena sand. Let's go, now, down to the sidelines where Braveheart is waiting to tell us what these weapon choices mean.
Braveheart: FREEEEEEDOOOOM!
Harley Quinn: OOOkay. They've stopped several yards from each other
Callisto: It looks like they're going to have words. Lets go to the live mics and hear the sound from down on the field.
Luke Skywalker: You do not wish to fight. Turn around and go home.
Callisto: Oh, Luke is using the old Jedi Mind Trick to try and end the battle.
Harley Quinn: Hmmm... Well, Paul Atredis is beginning ta' laugh. I guess he's to strong ta' be hoodwinked by da' Jedi Mind Trick.
Paul Atredis: No, it is YOU who must Drop your weapons and go!
Harley Quinn: Wow. An Paul Atredis has whipped out The Voice - his own strong suggestive power which is like the Jedi Mind Trick!
Callisto: Luke wobbles .... Begins to drop his guard...
Harley Quinn: No! It's a ruse! Luke springs to attack!
Luke Skywalker: I guess everyone's staying, then...
Callisto: Paul Atredis brings up the two long knives in his hand, crossed together before him... Catches Skywalkers blade in the crux of the two...
Harley Quinn: With one knife Paul bats Skywalker's sword to the side... Does a whirl in place, bringing the other knife around at kidney level...
Callisto: ... Paul with the stab... Misses as Skywalker flinches his body to one side...
Harley Quinn: ...Skywalker flows with the move... does a standing backflip to get some distance...
Callisto: ...Skywalker lands on his feet in the En Guard position.
Harley Quinn: The two are circling now.
Callisto: Both looking for just a little opening to go with...
Harley Quinn: ...Paul makes the move!
Callisto: ... Using a sudden burst of speed Paul Atredis lunges forward while dropping to one knee - knife thrust forward...
Harley Quinn: ...Luke jumps back but a fraction late...
Callisto: ...First blood to Atredis as skywalker takes a gash across the upper leg...
Harley Quinn: ...Luke already has momentum... hops to one leg... and Jumps!
Callisto: A flying summersault over Atredis head ... and an opening...
Harley Quinn: Solid hit by Skywalker onto Atredis' exposed upper shoulder has he flies overhead...
Callisto: ...But Atredis is up and turned by the time Skywalker lands back on his feet...
Harley Quinn: ... Furious assault now by Atredis as as he goes ballistic on Skywalker with those two pig-stickers...
Callisto: ... Skywalker forced on defense... he's blocking the rush of knife swipes from Atredis...
Harley Quinn: ... Some fancy footwork by Skywalker... Atredis pressing for an advantage...
Callisto: Skywalker blocks... blocks... blocks... cartwheel now...
Harley Quinn: ...SETUP!...
Callisto: Atredis whips one knife out - throws it clean at Skywalker...
Harley Quinn: ...DEFLECTED!...
Callisto: Using the Force, skywalker changes the directory of the deadly flying knife... It's flying back at Atredis!
Harley Quinn: Hardly losing his rhthm... whirling like a dervish on speed... Atredis plucks the returning knife out of the air...
Callisto: ...As Skywalker takes the initiative for a full frontal attack!...
Harley Quinn: It's Skywalker now on the offense... Fencing moves - thrust... swipe... thrust... he's forcing Atredis back...
Callisto: That rack!
Harley Quinn: A nearby weapons rack, behind Atredis is shaking... a a club flies off!
Callisto: Skywalker using his Force teleknesis causes a club to fly at the back of Atredis...
Harley Quinn: ...No! At the last instance Atredis ducks!
Callisto: ...And Atredis throws a knife again... pointblank range!
Harley Quinn: The club whizzes over Atredis, a miss... while Skywalker tries to parry the flying knife...
Callisto: FAILURE!
Harley Quinn: Bullseye as the knife slices into the artificial hand of Skywalker and drops to the sand!
Callisto: Skywalker keeps hold of his sword but that damage to his hand might impair his swordsmanship...
Harley Quinn: ...Skywalker kicks the fallen knife away ... Lunges for a new attack...
Callisto: ..Atredis meets him head on with his remaining knife...
Harley Quinn: ... Skywalker playing his fencing sword close to his body now... short controlled attacks...
Callisto: ... Atredis blocking every one and initiating a few swipes of his own ... both on offense - deadlocked..
Harley Quinn: A hush over the crowd as they watch the incredible tension in this deadly stalemate of whipping blades...
Callisto: ...
Harley Quinn: ...
Callisto: Oh, my... I see... they're both trying to out-predict each other! They're both looking into the future!
Harley Quinn: Yes, yes... their bodies are acting but must be several moves behind their minds as they...
Callisto: ... Atredis leaps at the wounded Jedi!
Harley Quinn: ...As Skywalker drops his sword! That artificial hand must have just become useless!
Callisto: Atredis, blade out... in for the kill...
Harley Quinn: ... As Skywalker leans into the attack... arms out...
Callisto: ... Skywalker catches the knife on his damaged artificial hand! Sparks fly as the two connect!
Harley Quinn: ... And Skywalker follows with a roundhouse kick!
Callisto: Atredis flies backwards - face bloodied!
Harley Quinn: ... As skywalker puts the Force juice on it - causing Atredis to keep flying - gaining velocity!
Callisto: Oh, this is going to hurt
Harley Quinn: WHAM! Atredis slams into the South wall of the fighters pit!
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