The CBUB Character Database


Cheetarah vs. Harley Quinn


Amityville House vs. Overlook Hotel


Leisure Suit Larry vs. Austin Powers

ISSUE #161

G.I. Joe vs. S.H.I.E.L.D

ISSUE #126

Q vs. Mr. Mxyzptkl


Justice League vs. X-Men

ISSUE #131

Kingpin vs. Penguin vs. Jabba the Hutt


The Borg vs. Aliens


Parallax vs. Dark Phoenix


Lara Croft vs. Indiana Jones


Voltron vs. Power Ranger's Zord


Blade vs. Buffy vs. Vampire Hunter D


Lex Luthor vs. Dr. Doom


Green Arrow vs. Hawkeye

ISSUE #168

Shazam vs. Black Bolt

ISSUE #129

Martial Mayhem - Round Three!

The Most Deadly of Species!





What's to be said, folks? These are two intergalactic species that really deserve each other.

Thanxs to Dave Barnhart for inspiring this match.


PAT:  Welcome, folks, to today's match-up: an all out war as the population of a Borg Cube fight to exterminate an Aliens Hive on board. Hello, I'm Pat Summers and I am thrilled to say that I am nowhere near this confrontation. We are broadcasting live behind the protective shields and the massive firepower of the newest Federation Sovereign Class Starship the Leick.

JAY:  And I'm Jay Peoples. You know Pat I can say it enough, never in the history of the universe is there two species that deserve each other more than the Borg and Aliens. Also thanks to modern day technology we'll be able to tap through the Borg eye sensors and watch the battle as it happens.

PAT:  As we are waiting for our techs to patch us into the Borg-Cams, let's get some reaction from the audience..


Dave Barnhart writes:

First off, I'm honored that I "inspired" this weeks bout. . . but you misspelled my name ("Barnhart" not "BarnhEart") No big deal, it's a common mistake.

Let's take a look at this match, shall we? I'm no "trekkie," but I seem to remember several references in the series that state that the Borg may only assimilate "humanoid life forms," and... well.... the good ole Xenomorphs are anything but "humanoid." Point for the acid bleeders.

But let's not forget that the Borg rapidly adjust to their foes. What's an alien gonna do to a force field??? Point for the Borg.

Tie breaker: Aliens took down Sgt. Apone. 'Nuff Said!!! Aliens: Game, set, and match!

Erin Hunt writes:

The Borg should win this week's match, because they're like a swarm of drones-- as soon as you kill one, another takes it place. And their ships can regenerate. AND all they have to do to assimilate you is stick one of those little tentacles in you.

Brickeen writes:

The Borg have personal shields. All those Alien teeth, the caustic blood, etc. is irrelevant. Imagine the vicious beast that will result when an Alien is assimilated.

Douglas Norton writes:

I do not believe that the aliens have the technology to defeat the Borg. Sure they would kill many. But only until the Borg "adapt". I am sure that the Borg have encountered creatures even more deadly.

Laberna writes:

The Aliens are able to gestate in all sorts of environments it is their adaptability that is their strength

Ben Church writes:

I'm not so sure the Aliens will be able to use Borg as incubators, and therefore increase their numbers. They need biological entities to do that don't they? And while the Borg are partially biological, they may be just machine enough that the embryos will die inside them. On the other hand, the Borg's main advantage is that they can adapt to phasers or other energy weapons and become invulnerable. The Aliens don't use those so that's out of the question. For that matter, you get a bunch of Colonial Marines with armor piercing pulse rifles and the rest of their arsenal in a Borg ship, I think the Borg'll be put down faster than the Aliens could do it.


JAY:  Mixed feelings from the crowd Pat but it's nice to see the horrors of the galaxy tearing into each other rather than us for a change.

PAT:  And I am sure every other race in the quadrant would agree. O.K, looks like we are patching into the transmissions from a couple of Borg eyepieces now. Uh... I am getting a Borg's eye view from a Borg named "x678f43". He is just kind of looking at the wall now. Er... how about you Jay?

JAY:  He's looking for something Pat but he can't seem to locate... OH NO!! The wall is moving!!

PAT:  Yeah... What's my Borg-cam looking at? I...

JAY:  It's an Alien hiding among the pipes and cables... the Borg seems to have trouble locating them even with their sensors probes.

PAT:  My Borg is ignoring it... Oh my god... here it comes.. too fast!!

JAY:  The Alien has apparently grab the Borg by the head and is looking almost directly looking into the borg-cam and... WOW! Those Aliens has incredible dental work Pat and a bad cause of drooling!

PAT:  HOLY!!! Well, Jay... what I just witnessed was not only disgusting, but I need a new Borg Cam.

JAY:  Well so much for "x678f43". Switching to another Borg-cam... O.K. we got some serious action here! Two Aliens are tearing into a group of Borg soldiers, they're trying to fight back...

PAT:  And I'm switching to a Borg Cam ... wait.. I got movement... I got movement.. AAgh! Face Hugger on my Borg-Cam!

JAY:  One of the Borg on my monitor just pierced the chest of an Alien with it's utility arm and just got sprayed with it's corrosive blood... it killed the Alien but the Borg is dissolving... I think I'm going to be sick!!

PAT:  Well, while Jay and I try to patch into some Borgs who look like they might survive a little longer, lets go our own Sideline Commentator Frank Williams who has this special report...

JAY:  Why the hell have I been beamed down here!? What have I ever done to any of you? All I wanted was a small raise, and a dental plan. Okay, so I was stealing things from the office! So does everyone! Err... I mean, this is Frank Williams reporting from the Borg ship. As of yet, nothing's happening in my sector, and I hope it stays that way. I favor the Borg, myself. Hey, if I'm caught by one of them, they'll either kill me quickly or assimilate me. An Alien will lay a freakin' egg in your gut! I definitely deserve a raise. Back to you Pat.

PAT:  Thanks Frank. Jay, I am receiving transmissions from a Borg now, but it looks like they're just standing around using their collective consciousness to try to figure out something. What do you make of it?

JAY:  The Borg seem at a lost Pat. They can't assimilate them and any damage they inflict on the Aliens will cause them to bleed their deadly corrosive blood which destroys anything it touches including their ship. So they might have to figure out a more non-lethal method to stop them.

PAT:  Wait, a couple of them seem to be glowing... Perhaps they are working on a forcefeild item?

JAY:  Whatever it is as the Borg are busy putting their heads together the Aliens are ripping right through them. Wait, one the Aliens is approaching one of the glowing Borgs.

PAT:  The Alien goes for the kill, but my Borg Cam shows he can't hurt him! The Borg will surely , slowly just take the Aliens apar...

JAY:  Another Alien joins in and it looks like they're trying to make a wish with the Borg...

PAT:  Whoa... Their combined ferocious strength is taxing the shield! But from my Borg's eye view, I see that some of the Aliens out there are just getting smart and picking Borgs up, shields and all, and hauling 'em off like sacks of 'taters!

JAY:  The Aliens are handling them like sacks of potatoes. Three Borgs are wrestling with an Alien and one rips it's arm off! It's corrosive blood spills all over... the Borg's shields are protecting them but it's eating away at their ship...

PAT:  Jay, It's a no win for these Borgs! The Hyper Corrosive blood spilling all over sends 'em into regeneration mode so they can fix the ship and... AAARGH! Face hugger on my Borg-Cam again! Those little crab Aliens are annoying!

JAY:  My Borg-Cam just got chewed up by another Alien, Pat... I'm trying to find another one... OH MY GOD, wall to wall Aliens! How many are there on that Borg Cube!?

PAT:  Well, we seem to be starting to run short on fresh Borg Cams, and the Captain of this vessel, is just itching to let that Alien infested Cube have a few dozen quantum torpedo bursts, so...

JAY:  Just a second maybe I can find one that's still... AAARGH! Another face hugger!!

PAT:  Well that's it, the Aliens have overrun the Cube.

JAY:  The Captain has seen enough. They're maneuvering the LEICK about and the order is given to arm her Quantum torpedoes.

PAT:  It's dead in space and is a easy target. Torpedoes firing... Impact!! There she goes!!


JAY:  Intergalactic pest control, Pat... gotta love it!

PAT:  Better than the roach motel! Er.. Did we get Frank back?

JAY:  Uh... well, I'm not sure. But, hey- here's the Final Vote...


'Nuff Said!


BORG: 73



PAT:  From the Starship Leick, I'm Pat Summers.

JAY:  And I'm Jay Peoples. Good Day, all.

The Part of Pat written by Serge - Electric Ferret Studios

The Part of Jay written by Shawn - Callisto Tales

The part of Frank Williams by Robert - Callisto's Corner of Tartarus

Special Thanxs to: Aliens... The Website

Special Thanxs to: The Borg Assimilation Pages

DISCLAIMER / NOTICE: ALIENS Is the absolute sole property of 20TH Century Fox. BORG Is the absolute sole property of Paramount / Viacom. This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.

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