THE SCENARIO

Welcome to the Khazan Olympics. It is the second of three rounds of elimination play. This week, great fighters of the anime scene gather to determine who shall go to the finals. They are:

Tamahome - From the series Fushigi Yuugi (aka The Mysterious Play). One of the Suzaku Seven: warriors chosen by the god Suzaku to protect Miaka, the priestess of Suzaku. An expert in Kung-Fu, he tends to fight unarmed, although he is known to use nunchaku when situations call for such extremes.

Ranma Saotome - From the series Ranma 1/2. Heir to the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts, a fighting style that, at times, literally uses any technique needed to win a fight. He posesses minimal chi powers, and is especially known for his speed and agility. Oh, and did I mention that he turns into a girl when splashed with cold water, and reverts back to normal with hot water? Yep, makes for loads of fun.

San - From the motion picture Mononoke Hime (aka The Princess Mononoke). She protects a small forest populated by forest gods which is caught in the middle of two warring villages. Her primary advantage is her ferocity and tenacity when fighting. She also depends on her skills with knives when in close combat.

Joe Asakura - His name varies from which series you know him from. Joe in the original Science Ninja Team Gatchaman. Jason in Battle of the Planets. Dirk in the more recent G-Force. No matter what his guise, he's always very agile and adept not only at hand to hand combat, but is handy with his feather shuriken. Also he's probably one of the most angst-filled anime characters this side of Captain Harlock.

Jubei Kibagami - From the motion picture Ninja Scroll. A ronin, or wandering samurai for hire based on a semi-historical figure from Japan of the same name. He has your standard samurai skills, being adept with the katana, and he also seems to be a bit more resilient than other humans. His endurance is his main asset.

Utena Tenjou - From the anime series Revolutionary Girl Utena. She's a fairly competent fencer who is involved in a sureal conspiracy involving her school's student council and a force people only refer to as "Dios." Perhaps she is the one that can unlock this unseen force... or perhaps she is not. Certainly a most unconventional melee. Are you ready for mass martial carnage with an anime flair? Hajime!

Join us now for a battle we had to call...

THE SPORTS BOX

HexxJo:   Dang... the GI Joe dude won? You'd think.... oh, we're on? Welcome everyone! Yep, this is the second round of the Khazanian Olympics Martial Arts Tournament. This time around, the greatest fighters from the world of anime have gathered to... well... to basically beat each other to a pulp to determine the ultimate anime martial artist.

DragoonT:   And what a fight it's gonna be! While the previous round focused more on indiviual skill I'm sure we're gonna see lots of explosions this time around..and not just in the stadium! From the looks of it Akane and Miaka are arguing over which of their resptective boyfriends is better!

HexxJo:   We all know that Utena has the cutest fiance. Too bad for her that she's engaged to a woman.

DragoonT:   And it looks like said Fiance is pumping Utena up for the fight judging from the sword Utena just yanked out of her.

HexxJo:   I betcha Jubei wishes he had a girlfriend that would do that. Too bad his gal got offed at the most inopportune of moments.

DragoonT:   Well...it looks like the fighters are finishing their warmups. While they take their places lets see what the viewers had to say

YOUR OPINIONS

Favorite letter of the Week

Barima aka Samurai-B writes:

Hey,I got minimal knowledge on these kids. Sucks when England ain't such an Anime lovin' country,eh? Thank God for the Forbidden Planet shop,I say.

Anyway,I once saw Ranma's Super Famicom/Nintendo video game.After that I became obssessed with learning the special technique of How To Draw Ranma and perfected it to the extent that my chi enhances my intricate and beautiful artistry to Olympian heights. And the cold-water changes are kinda amusing.

Enough of the pretensions,Ranma wins. He's got RAGE tm from getting outvoted by Sailor Moon, Princess of Cheese(c). Jubei gets to be second since I'm on the verge of purchasing Ninja Scroll anyway. And Tamahome looks and sounds like one mean Mr.T badass motha-punk so I'll be keeping my eyes on him.

B-Man-y'wanna know why/it's cause I'm funkin' and I'm truckin'...

Packrat writes:

Ranma arrives as a female. Gets splashed with water during the fight and becomes male. All the other male fighters' brains shut down as their hormones get confused. Ranma only has to beat one person. Nuff said.

Either that, or one of the guys goes berserk...ever read Deadpool #6? Vamp-Aniumus changes genders and Deadpool freaks out...grenades start flying...etc.

Mr. Silverback writes:

WWII Zero pilot Saburo Sakai was perhaps one of the greatest Japanes (and greatest warriors) to have ever lived. After losing an eye over Guadalcanal, he still came back and maintained his place as the top Japanese ace, and if I remember right, he's still the top ace in the world naval aviation community. It is one of those great tragedies of war that a man of such spirit should be on the Axis side, and that he should die penniless, a combination of post-war regulations and the missing eye preventing him from flying in the civilian world. Now you're wondering, "What the heck is 'ol Silverback getting to here?"

His autobiography was called Samurai!

Jubei Kibagami all the way.

D.Merzel writes:

Anyone noticed that ranma bears a certain resemblence to another martial artist, Jackie Chan. Ranma is jackie chan in cartoon form. Thats almost enough to stop godzilla.

Plus he/she is played for laughs. he fights off ninja gymnasts, Spatula throwing chefs and 3 fiancees who at one time or another have attempted to kill him.

Final Arguement. DARWIN (unless you're in kentucky). Ranma's world is filled with masters of martial arts. natural selection has ment that just to survive you are going to need more than traning. It's in his genes.

rumbles in the bronx writes:

now here is a great martial arts contest if i have ever seen it as well as a tough one. while each of these martial artist are skilled the fight will come down to two of these fighters: ranma saotome "the wild stallion" and tamahome "the oni". this is the fight that will decide it all. I see ranma takin down jubei because he knows how to handle an idiot with a katana while tamahome handles utena since he usually shows no compunctions on hitting women enemies unlike ranma. that means joe will take on san and probably beat her because of his ability to fly ... after ranma takes out jubei he goes after joe... now joe's flying doesn't even work here because the school of anything goes specializes in areial attacks and takes down joe with an airborne katsu tenshin amiguriken (chestnut fist)with his fist blazing at mach 10 and will knock out joe before he could even blink... now with that done and tama finish beating utena the showdown begins... i predict these two going all out and doing some amazing moves that will leave the crowd dazzeled and just looking ahhed... ranma using all the speed he has while tamahome uysing his superior strength... they'll use there big chi attacks at each other and would understand that they are equal in power... then ranma will turn on the secret weapon... his ability to piss off anybody.... he will enrage tama to the point here he goes super oni and ranma has him.... ranma will use the enraged tamahome and collect the energy needed and perform the strangest hiryuu shotenha (acending dragon punch)and knock out tamahome.... ranma stands up in victory and shouts out "RANMA SAOTOME CANNOT BE DEFEATED" then akane beats him on the head with the big mallet o death for being so egotistical.

Oh yeah where is Gokou if this is amartial arts fighting contest... well if he was here he'll just have to point a finger and they all be dead so it's all good

Jack Bandit writes:

Sailor Moon can beat the crap out of everyone in this Martial Mayhem. In the fight of Ranma and Sailor Moon , she didn't attack as much as Ranma did so he was a match for her. Plus Ranma has been up against 7 Lucky Gods , Illusions , Mutants , the kids at Furinkann High , and AKANE'S COOKING!!! Ranma will win this match easily.

Anonymous writes:

Where is Rourouni Kenshin?

Where is Rourouni Kenshin??!!?

Where is Rourouni Kenshin?!!?(*&%!!!?!!!

Seriously, Tamahome has just way to much power to be beaten in this fight.

RealLoneWolf writes:

Saotome is tied? I don't believe this... None of the competitors here is even worthy of waking into a ring with my main aquatransexual! Ranma "Wild Horse" Saotome's whole life is martial arts combat (Literally), and physical pain no longer means anything to him! He'll take on all (Non-DBZ) challengers and beat'em down!

Go Ranma!! (Now, if he could only wake up and see Akane's perfect for him...)

Mr Sinister writes:

Joe's got this one in the bag. I mean, if he can defeat potentially-world-conquering, evil alien menaces wearing a stupid-looking bird suit, he can whup anybody's ass! And that's the bottom line...

Silent Watcher writes:

Joe has a big advantage on this fight, all though he does has social problems he can activate the bird suit and thus utilize the air thus giving him an advantage. And by the way if I know you guys like I know you, Ranama is gonna end up a little wet, if you know what I mean! (P.S. Have you seen the Princess Monoke movie that's out? It really kicks!)

Marksman writes:

C'mon!! This is ALL about Tamahome but he's in second to last place?!!?! This makes about as much sense as Shang-Chi losing the first round! This guy is almost too overpowered to be in this competition. He'd take em all out as fast as you can say YotudenisamuchbetteranimethanNinjaScrolleverwishesitcouldbe. In other words, even AL ROKER'S FRIKKIN GRANDPA would have trouble with Tamahome. I say we just let Nabiki come in and buy off all the people voting for Jubei. It's the only way this'd be realistic. =P

Fred writes:

As long as we have pre-cyborg Joe, we're

looking at a win. I mean, Joe never misses.

Never Ever Ever.

Aubri writes:

Oh, NO. Don't do this to us! Can't... decide... brain... exploding...

Well, all in all I'd say it's mostly down to San and Ranma. First off Joe's out because he's generally got the other 4 behind him to help, and he's just uncool anyway. Jubei's not going to last long against these others, being just an average (okay, above average) ronin. As in, fairly normal human being. I've never seen Fushigi Yuugi, so he's out. :> I'd say in general anyone who practices a particular style of fighting will lose to Ranma, since (s)he'll go outside the lines to win. Anything Goes beats anything with rules. San, on the other hand, has those wolf-gods she rides around with, and is basically a little psycho. She's been fighting 'anything to win' forever. Even without the wolf backup I think someone who will face down a cannon squad and come out of it alive multiple times will beat Ranma in the end..

eventually...

The Saint writes:

Well, Ranma's cool an has good agility and great speed, which would probably give him the advantage over the rest, Utei has a cosmic force by her side (or not - haven't seen her show), and Gathcaman is up to par due to constantly pounding the tar out of more villains with shorter lifespans than a Chuck Norris movie grunt trooper. T-guy (full name a bit hard for me to pronounce) seems decent. But the winner? Jubei all the way, bay-bee!

Ranma has people beating the crap out of him on a regular basis. His clowning around may do him good, but in front of the others in this match? He'll be making jokes on how's been (literally) cut in half. His only equal, Ryoga, is an absolute dweeb with mush for brains, so I'm afraid Mr. Saotome lacks the exprience against people who actually have functioning brains.

San seems like a good "wolverine" type fighter, but... think about it:

Wolverine - Adamantium - Healing Factor = Sushi.

It doesn't pay to lunge at your enemies without thinking. Especially if you don't haver anything to save your bacon should things go bad.

As good as the Gatchaman are, anyone with the brains of a celery knows that an average anime enemy flunky has the brains of a pea and the fighting capacity of a slug. When you only fight absolute morons, you don't improve your fighting skills any. Universal fact.

Utena... cute dress, but all it will do for her in this match is make her lose balance. She'll charge at one of them, get caught in her stockings, fall over, and get shish-kebabed by the others.

Tomahome: Cool pose, cool stance. He might actually last the fight. However, he'll have to fight the man who is almost definately gonna shove those nunchucks where the sun don't shine...

Jubei Kibagami. Probably the best of them all in this match. He killed his own buddies when they tried to kill him, faced a rock/golem guy and lived to tell the tale, faced the Eight Devils of Timon, and then had to face a guy who is freaking unkillable. I mean, how many of the others have fought anyone who can put his own head back on after it's been sliced clean off? And without having any sort of enhancement, physical or otherwise (as a rule, cosmic avatars are enhanced waaayy beyond reason, so using normal situations, Uteni would be so much chopped suey)? Jubei wins because he's just a regular human...

...Who whooped the asses of six or seven guys who qualify in the "keep a 3000 mile distance from these guys" demons.

Can anyone else here boast the same?

Katrover writes:

Where if h*** is Tifa Lockheart?!?!?!?

Cleo: Final Fantasy VII is over, Katrover....besides, it's an RPG, not an anime.

I don't care!! She can wipe those bakas on the mat with her Final Heaven-

Cleo: You said that already!!

Okay, good grief!! Anyway, I vote for San because she appears to be the fircest of the bunch. Oh yes...the final bout is going to be a copyright violation of my upcoming Acme vs. Anime, CBUB....

Cleo: AVA hasn't started yet, so they can still do it! Ignore Katrover, Hexxjo and DragoonT, she's just cheezed 'cause you didn't put Tifa in the anime match-up. SEE YA!!

That's my line!! But....ah.....oh well.

tokenblack hero writes:

Ok we have a pink haired fencer (Hey that's almost french). A ninja with a lot of attitude. A girl/boy-boy with a water problem. Some guy with eyelashes bigger than Cher's.

They are all good fighters but they are nothing to Joe. Joe can fight hordes of well armed men. He's a master of stealth, disguise and his speed is blinding. He can transform to energy, vanish, and kick ass like no otherGO JOE.

oh and if you wanted real martial artsist for three try Xanthos from Maximu games. the man createrd martial arts in his univers!!!!

Daki writes:

YATTA! I knew it! Snake Eyes has won and the Ninja has advanced!

Now I must choose from these warrior of kick-ass anime. The.....PRESSURE!!!!

*more medics enter and administer even stronger drugs*

Oooooo....pretty colors.

Oh yeah, I had to go with Jubei on this one. personally, I'd just like to see a ronin Samurai like Jubei square off against a Ninja like Snake Eyes and then watch Snake Eyes stomp his head in. But that's for another day.

Here are the "technical" reasons why Jubei takes this. First, he fought the Eight Devils of Kimon and won! Actually I don't think I need to say anything else. Look at it this way...he killed a man who could regenerate/re-animate any part of his body. That takes skill. A LOT of skill.

Need another reason? Okay, how about "Ninja Scroll" is probably one of THE BEST anime ever made?

Juebi spanks 'em all.

The Bunyip writes:

The fight never happens.

All six of these peons are found battered to a pulp, just outside the area. You see, Haohmaru, from Samurai Shodown/Spirits realized that he wasn't invited, and decided that if he couldn't be in the match, then there would BE no match.

Besides, none of these flakes would last ten seconds against Snake-Eyes, the winner of last match. The special "anime people can all jump fifty feet in the air and land unscathed" ability, which they all depend upon, is nullfied when fighting on Snake-Eyes' turf. The GI-Joe "No-one-ever-gets-hurt-by-bullets-lasers-or-explosions" rule won't matter, because no one is using bullets, lasers or explosions.

Gatchaman/Battle of The Planets, are you kidding? Those twerps aren't worth spit without their fancy flying machines. This is Martial Arts, not Who-has-the-neatest-toys.

Hysteria writes:

Well, this is a matchup for the ages, but Ranma has to be the winner. For one thing, he's used to fighting people with weapons. Kuno, Kodachi Kuno, and his "cute" finacee Ukyo come to mind, and there must be others, each with their own odd style. This puts him at no disadvantage with people such as Jubei and Utena, while simultaneously putting those two at a disadvantage, that if they lose their weapons, they're effectively out of the competition. San doesn't really have to rely on weapons, but is unfocused in her combat, and while she is fierce, the more controlled fighters will trounce her in short order.

Tamahome is a good fighter, but from what I've seen of Fuushigi Yugi, he just isn't serious enough to win when it really matters. And Joe, despite his status as leader, just doesn't seem to be the type who would be that serious about winning. Besides, the way the rest of these fighters go at it, he'd get knocked on the ground, say out loud, "Alright, I have underestimated my enemies' power," and more than likely get impaled by Jubei, who quite frankly doesn't put up with that kind of introspection during a fight.

My predictions- Joe goes out first, followed by San (I loved Mononoke, but I can't see her as a contender). Tamahome goes out next, as does Utena, who just doesn't compare when it come to the intensity that Jubei displays. This leaves Jubei and Ranma, and Ranma has had a lot of experience beating up on people with swords (ie Kuno).

Ranma wins, only to get clobbered by Akane for wondering if a tomboy like her and Akane are related somehow...

Me writes:

I'm only familiar with Ranma...but HexxJo said he'd give me a cookie if I voted Utena...I'm waiting Hexx...

Three Dark writes:

NOOooOOoooOOOOoooo

What's a Creator to do?!?!?! Go with Hexxy or T?!?! Uber-Universal Hero or Universal Uber-Hero?!?!?!?! ARRRAGH!!!! Must VOTE To Keep LIFE Not FAIR!!!! Hexxy, T, Hexxy, T, Hexxy, T, I vote for.... *Faints from stress*

Jigglypuff?!?!?!

THE BATTLE

HexxJo:   Hmm... some interesting points. Anyway, the fighters are all prepped and ready to go. We're using the same oversized ring from the last fight.

DragoonT:   That might put some of the fighters at a disadvantage. The more acrobatic fighters won't have much terrain to work with.

HexxJo:   Not enough to make a difference in my opinion. Anyway, the competitors seem to be finished warming up and are entering the ring.

DragoonT:   And there's the bell! As expected, Utena and Jubei quickly find each other and ready their swords.

HexxJo:   Yow! San just lept towards Joe, dagger in hand! Luckily he was on guard or that would have been one nasty scene.

DragoonT:   Which leaves us with Ranma and Tamahome. Maybe its just me, but those two seem to have been seperated at birth.

HexxJo:   Well... if you squint really hard...

DragoonT:   *sighs* Jubei and Utena are still going at it. Jubei is obviously the aggressor, striking furiously and keeping Utena on the defensive.

HexxJo:   And San is starting to back Joe into one of the corners of the ring. He's yet to get a hit in on her, whereas I can see many gashes in his costume.

DragoonT:   And San is going in for the... No! Joe just lept over her with a smirk and is gliding towards the center of the ring...

HexxJo:   ...where he lands and... perches on Ranma's head. Ranma doesn't seem to notice it though. Never was the bright one, was he?

DragoonT:   But he did land a nice hit on Tamahome as he was distracted by the situation. Neither Tamahome nor Miaka are very happy with that.

HexxJo:   Oww... and Ranma drops to the ground as Joe uses his head to puff off back into the air. He's heading back towards San.

DragoonT:   And Joe takes the airborne opportinity to throw some feather shriuken at San. Ouch... landing one in her shoulder one in her foot.

HexxJo:   Jubei is still dominating the fight... wait. He's stopped attacking. Utena's starting to glow...

DragoonT:   Is it Dios? The Absoulte Destiny Apocalypse? Chu Chu?

HexxJo:   Jubei didn't take the time to find out and swiftly kicked Utena in the stomach. Utena looks like she's down for the count.

DragoonT:   And now Joe's returned to the ground and is rushing in at San. He doesn't seem to care that in close San has a nice advantage with the knife.

HexxJo:   Whatever the reason may be for that, he's started to slug it out with San in close. She's tearing away at him, but at the same time he's landing some solid hits.

DragoonT:   Joe's costume is starting to be torn away piece by piece, while San is building up a collection of bruises. Neither one seems to be showing signs of tiring.

HexxJo:   Yeah.... wait! Joe just hit San's shoulder, the one that was injured earlier by his shuriken. Joe smirks to himself... I think we know where he's going with that.

DragoonT:   San's down to one knee. It must be the pain from the aggrivated wound.... and she's down as well. Scratch two opponents from the fight.

HexxJo:   Aww... both of the gals get ousted before any of the guys...

DragoonT:   Wait... it looks like another female may be entering this match. Miaka has worked her way up to the side of the ring carrying... is that what I think it is?

HexxJo:   Yep... Miaka just splashed Ranma with a bucket filled with cold water. Go aquatransexual!

DragoonT:   I guess she didn't like seeing her Tama-honey being beaten by a guy and would prefer him to be beaten by a woman.

HexxJo:   A variant of "girl power"? Anyway, Tamahome and Ranma resume their bout of fisticuffs. The two were trading blows pretty evenly up until the switch...

DragoonT:   But Ranma's female form is known to be faster.... and a bit more vulnerable.

HexxJo:   As their battle resumes, Jubei and Joe meet eyes. Oooo... the angst can be cut with a Wakizashi.

DragoonT:   They exchange smirks and leap at each other. Jubei and his katana, Joe and his shiruken.

HexxJo:   Joe throws.... Jubei slashes... and they land, turn, and face each other.

DragoonT:   Jubei's holding his side. He pulls three shiruken from his side and srops them to the ground and stumbles slightly but keeping on his feet.

HexxJo:   Joe, on the other hand, seems fine. Did Jubei not... wait. Joe's helmet just cracked in two, sliding off his head.

DragoonT:   Joe doesn't seem to be injured though. Now THAT is swordsmanship. Jubei seems to be letting Joe know he isn't dealing with your average Saturday Afternoon Samurai.

HexxJo:   And they resume their staredown... almost gives me shivers. And during all of this, Ranma and Tamahome are STILL at it. But if you look closely in their furry of fists, it seems Ranma is getting more blows in.

DragoonT:   It's that Ran-chan speed catching up to Tamahome. Perhaps it would have been best if Miaka didn't perform the traditional transfer ritual...

HexxJo:   Tamahome's starting to feel that speed now. Ranma just knocked him against the ropes, but he's still standing.

DragoonT:   Ranma looks like... yes... he's prepping to pull off one of his trademark chi attacks.

HexxJo:   Yowch! Which one was that? Rising Fireblast of Infinite Kawaiiness?

DragoonT:   I could never keep up with all those wacky names, but it doesn't matter. Tamahome will be having a serious headache after that one... or at least when he wakes up.

HexxJo:   And now Ranma jumps up on top of one of the ring corners and waits to see who will come out of this showdown conscious.

DragoonT:   Joe and Jubei are still looking at each other eye to eye. Joe has a handfull of shuriken ready, Jubei has his sword sheathed, ready to draw at any moment.

HexxJo:   All we need now is either a tumbleweed to roll by or a flurry of cherry petals to blow in the wind to make the moment perfect.

DragoonT:   Jubei's fingers roll across the hilt of his katana... Joe twists one foot on its axis... and they both leap into the air at the same moment.

HexxJo:   Joe throws his shuriken and.... Jubei blocked them with his katana! Jubei slashes at Joe and both fighters return to the ground.

DragoonT:   Joe's still standing? But I thought Jubei... now I see. Joe is holding his chest. There's no slash mark visible, so how....

HexxJo:   Jubei must have hit Joe with the dull backend of his blade. Joe continues to hold his chest and... ugg... falling on one's face like that can't feel good, even when you're out cold.

DragoonT:   Wow... a noble showing by Joe, but we're down to just the dual-sexual one and the ronin.

HexxJo:   Ranma leaps off of his perch and smiles at Jubei. Jubei responds in like, but doesn't hesitate to charge towards Ranma at the same time.

DragoonT:   Ranma stands his ground, waiting for Jubei to come within striking distance and... leaps up into the air at the last moment... heehee... oh, I love this trick.

HexxJo:   Yeah... Ranma just pulled his classic "landing on the blade" trick he's used many times on Kuno. Jubei seems to be a little distracted and Ranma takes the advantage to land a nice kick on Jubei's face.

DragoonT:   But Jubei doesn't falter. He stays on his feet and changes stances. Hmm... a defensive stance.

HexxJo:   He leared quickly that all-out offense rarely works on Ranma. Pity other fighters don't realize that sooner.

DragoonT:   Ranma starts to make circles around the defensive Jubei, probably looking for an opening.

HexxJo:   Hmm... Jubei seems to be getting a little impatient and is starting to show signs of aggression. I guess one can only take so many waiting games in one fight.

DragoonT:   That may be Ranma's plan. Working on that eagerness and drawing Jubei out of the position that might otherwise win him this fight.

HexxJo:   Could you call this the Anyting Goes Art of Drawing the Ghost out of His Shell? If so, it seems to be working. Jubei just switched stances.

DragoonT:   He's lifted his katana above his head. I don't know much Kenjitsu, but I do know that that's an offensive position. Jubei charges at Ranma. This may be his final strike.

HexxJo:   Jubei again leaps into the air, his sword crashing down on Ranma while Ranma stands idly by with a smile on his face. At the last moment, Ranma shifts his feet and...

THE FINAL VOTE

'Nuff Said!

FINAL VOTE:

Tamahome: 80

San: 25

Joe: 119

Jubei: 290

Ranma: 316

Utena: 58

THE WRAP UP

DragoonT:   Ranma lands a perfect kick to Jubei's chin, knocking him to the ground and disarming him. Jubei is out cold. Ranma wins!

HexxJo:   Man... next round I hope a REAL woman wins the fight.

DragoonT:   *sighs* You and your thing with women. What's up with that?

HexxJo:   Hey, I just think they look cooler than men, that's all...

DISCLAIMER / NOTICE:

None of these characters is owned by us, they are the property (TM) (c) of their prespective owners (except we don't know who they are)

This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.