JAY: That's was some pretty vocal opinions for the up coming match. You could almost forget that this match is ALL for charity. Pat, I notice however at the press conference that the Tick is a highly excitable character. Could this be a problem when the
fight starts?
PAT: The Tick is excitable, but his heart's in the right place. Hard to say what will happen when that battle begins though, huh? And speaking of battle... Here come the contestants! The crowd is going wild!
JAY: I see each of them have their faithful sidekicks with them. Iolas in tow with Hercules and Arthur with the Tick. The Tick is getting quite pumped up from the roar of the crowd...
PAT: Herk is looking sporty in white trunks with golden gloves, while the Tick wears red trunks and red gloves. They're up in the ring now and we're waiting for the bell.
JAY: There's the bell! The fighters comes out slowly... they're circling each other... exchanging a few probing punches. Pat, I can't get over the size of the Tick. The arm reach he has over Herk is...
PAT: BAM!! Uppercut! Herk gets inside and rocks the Tick. The Tick seems taken aback by the blow. It's true Jay. The Tick is Colossal. He has the reach, and maybe the Raw Power. Herk looks like he might have the moves, though.
JAY: Herk is staying on the Tick, keeping the pressure on. Arthur is starting to look worried... POW!! Massive shot to Herk's face... the Tick was deliberately taking the pounding waiting for an opening...
PAT: Ouch! That had to hurt even the Son of Zeus. Now it's Iolas' turn to look worried! Hey, speaking of the sidekicks, Jay, these are two guys... Iolas and Arthur,... who really help out the big guys a lot but don't seem to get the credit they
deserve.
JAY: It's usually the heroes who steals the glory and the sidekick gets the trip to the emergency room. Speaking of trips to the E.R., the Tick has now worked Herk into the corner of the ring. The Tick is unloading into him... Iolaus is screaming for him
get out.
PAT: Herk ducks now... rolls between the Ticks legs.. comes up behind the Ticks... his back to the Tick... He reaches back...Herk grabs the Tick by the neck and chin... It's a Power Play folks!! Herk throws the Tick over his shoulder and out'a the
ring!!!
JAY: The Tick just landed in the middle of the walkway, 200' from the ring... he pulls his head out of the sand... BOY! He does not look impress Pat. He's pointing to Hercules... he's saying something. Can we have some sound.
The Tick: All right Herk! You big JERK!! Prepare yourself because you have just thrown the wrong man over the top rope buster. SPOOOONN!!!!
PAT: The Tick is charging... Leaping through the air into the ring, Screaming his battle cry!!! He's going to land on Herk... Wait!!! Herk moved... The Tick has crashed through the wooden floor of the ring!
JAY: We just lost sight of the Tick folks. That was really a bad move on the Ticks part... Joxer himself could have telegraph that move miles way!
PAT: That's right, Jay, I... Hey!... Herk's been thrown off balance and... Wait! The Tick is under the Boxing ring now... He's lifting up the whole ring... With Herk in it!
JAY: The spectators are backing away... so much for a nice and friendly match this week. Wait! Herk is rolling off the ring onto the ground. The Tick has lifted the entire ring up off it's foundation... he doesn't see Herk coming up from behind...
PAT: Herk is... Oh, my... Herk is tapping the Tick on the shoulder....
JAY: The Tick is looking over his shoulder and he sees Herk... I don't need no stinking sound man to know that he's saying Uh-oh...
PAT: WHAM! Right Cross to the Tick across the jaw! The Tick looks a little wobbly... but he is still holding... No, he's losing it, Folks! The whole Boxing Ring is gonna come down on their heads!
JAY: CCRASSH!! The entire ring came down on them. There's an eerie silence now... I don't see any movement folks! Iolaus and Author is racing to check their friends...
PAT: There's a huge cloud of dust rising out there. Jay, I don't see any sign...
JAY: The floor of the boxing ring explodes. The Tick has pushed his way through it! He's got Herk up over his head. He throws him... YIPES! DUCK!!
Ka-SLAM!
PAT: Whoa... The Herk has just crashed through the SportsBox and flown out the back... and.... oh no.... The Tick is jumping this way.... INCOMMMING!!!!
The Tick: SPOOOOOOONNN!!!!!!!
JAY: .......are we still alive??? The Tick just charged right through our
sportsbox...
PAT: And there goes the rest of the back wall along with him, Jay.
JAY: I'm looking at the gaping hole in the back and yes Herk and the Tick are still fighting and exchanging punches and kicks.... Pat, I think we were safer during the Xena and Callisto fight. Wait!! Herk just delivered a powerful uppercut to the Tick!
PAT: Don't let him come back through the SportsBox... Pleeease don't let him...
Ah Yes! The Tick is going OVER the SportsBox this time, Folks!
JAY: Yes but here comes Herk, step back Pat! And there goes Herk... the Tick is
on the ground and Hercules has grabbed hold of the Tick's antenna's... Ouch!! I don't think Herk realizes that those things are real!
PAT: No... The Herk knows it, Jay. The Son of Zeus is now pinning the Tick in a classic Greco-Roman wrestling hold and keeping the pressure on those antennas.
JAY: The strain on the Tick's face is awesome. Will the Tick or the Tick's antennas break first?
PAT: Don't know... hey, the Tick is speaking:
The Tick: ...Can't loose my antennas... GROAN... They are the symbol... GRUNT... of Justice... AARG... for millions! And the chicks dig 'em! UNCLE, I say!
JAY: And that's the match.
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