THE SCENARIO

Forget about your Borg Hives.

Forget about your Alien Hives.

They do not compare to the horror facing these two women.

Yes, once again, both Janeway and Ripley are going in to rescue helpless colonist from the clutches of an evil alien species....

Once again they will fight against insurmountable odds, and they might even save some people.

But this time, folks, only one of them is coming back alive....

'Cause this time they're up against the deadliest of intergalactic species:

Zorak!!!!

Vote for the survivor in a fight we like to call...

No Thanks, I Had Lunch.

Fight suggested by They call me Tim (oh, no that's not it)...Brad

THE SPORTS BOX

PAT: The carnage is unbelievable, folks. LIVE from planet Tau Ceti 3, I'm Pat Summers.

JAY: And I'm Jay Peoples. The bodies of both Starfleet and Colonial Marines lay scattered unconscious across the ground... all victims of Zorak's new evil weapon "The Hangover".

PAT: It's true Jay... all of these noble Starfleet and Colonial Marine men and women now feel exactly as though they have just returned from an extended Liberty Pass to Subic Bay where they partied for 48 hours straight, drinking cheap brew and eating bad food.

JAY: They are totally incapacitated, and Zorak's gang of evil mantises will doubtless be back to "harvest" this buffet of unwilling morsels.

PAT: Indeed... But inside the compound, it's Ripley and Janeway and they ain't going down without a fight! Now, while we got a minute... let's get some viewer response.

YOUR OPINIONS

The Bunyip writes:

NO NO NO! No one shall conquer Zorak! He shall smite all who oppose him! Zorak shall defeat the puny Voyager with nothing more than the power of his rapier wit! I did vote for Ripley only because Zorak would have mercy and let her go, because he finds Ripley absolutely adorable, and unlike Janeway, the woman-who-is-Ripley has actually had EVIL roles! Plus, Zorak thinks she's hot (for a human) and she would give him gum to placate him.

Faux Oribe writes:

Man- Ripley's gonna kick little-miss-starfleet's a**! Please... Ripley was a Marine and skilled in combat- she's gone at it with the "Aliens" how many times now? How often does Janeway actually get into physical contact with anything besides her Captain's chair?

Sailor Callisto writes:

Ripley is tough and all, but so is Janeway and she's got the brains to pull it through. Besides, she gets to use those kewl little phasers.

Cookie writes:

Janeway will kick Ripley's ............

Tim Shanahan writes:

Ripley's strong enough to take on aliens, but they weren't as smart as Zorak's gang. At least the Borg had something approaching human intelligence.

Cydney writes:

Janeway's a goner. She's a sappy, incompetent dope. She'd try to offer the aliens FRIENDSHIP and end up getting eaten. Ripley on the other hand is a pragmatic, resourceful, kick-ass warrior womyn. Those aliens wouldn't stand a chance.

Atamus writes:

This battle really depended on location, but I'm gonna have to go for the buff soldier ripley. She's resourceful, and after fighting Aliens, Janeway should be a cinch!

Mtar writes:

Call me when Janeway shaves her head

Throatwobbler Mangrove writes:

In a mano -a- mano match I'd say Ripley in 2 rounds. ALthough if it were an all nude oil wrestling match - I'd like it to go longer. We can all hope can't we ?

Bugmaster writes:

Ripley is a pissed-off bald woman who has fought Aliens - and WON. She has single-handedly defeated the Big Alien Ugly Mother, the Government and pretty much everything else.

Janeway is a Federation captain stuck on her own version of Gilligan's island and bound by the Prime Directive into flying in circles. Is this really a contest?

Dust writes:

Against Zorak? AH HA Ha ha ha ha. Hee hee heee. Oh man! Ahah he he AHHH HAAA! Opps, hehehe there goes my HA lung.

Al right. Janeway would try to negotiate with him and find possible alternatives. Ripply would go right to work. Also, Ripley is a little less sane (wouldn't you be if those alien things kept coming after you?), so she'd go after Zorak like he said her mother was a porcupine.

MonkeyQuinn writes:

No doubt about this one... Who even watches that Star Trek crap? Not only has Ripley killed off those really scary aliens and stuff, but she's done so through three (now four!) movies.

Al Tootikian writes:

Tough choice. Have to go with youth and determination over experience and guile. Besides, Ripley looks better all hot and sweaty.

Joel Carpenter writes:

Janeway fights some of the most intelligent beings on the planet. Ripley fights gigantic , emotionally dysfunctional cockroaches. Need I say more?

Mandy writes:

Janeway has faced far more enemies then Ripley. Also, She has to keep her crew together and that can be very stressful. In other words, Ripley is good, but can she keep her hair looking the best in almost every episode aired?

Mich writes:

I'd pick Ripley in head-to-head competition against *any* commander -- past, present, or future! (Janeway isn't even the most capable Star Trek captain). Ripley is keen, sharp, alert, resourceful, and indomitable -- with a phenomenal instinct for survival!! Sigourney Weaver is absolutely marvelous portraying Ripley...

If I was ever stranded in a tough situation. Against *any* apparently invincible alien menace, I'd follow Ripley -- no matter what everyone else in the crew did. Ripley is a *survivor* with tremendous heart, even facing the most impossible odds....

BATTLE on Xena, Gabrielle, Callisto, & Ripley!

IK writes:

Zorak wins. Come on it's not contest is it really? Well actually I guess it is.

Earl (Roy) writes:

Talking technology, Janeway's got this thing beat what with the whole Federation and all, but that Ripley got fists of fury. In a no-tech environment it's Ripley in OT.

Bobafett 2002 writes:

I have to say Ripley is obviously going to be the winner she's superiorly faster and smarter I've seen all the Aliens movies and there is no doubt in my mind Ripley is going to come out on top.

THE BATTLE

JAY: O.K.... Ripley and Janeway are inside the compound, and they seem to have hit on a plan.

PAT: That's right, Jay. They are going to split-up and try to make it to the Com station to send a distress call.

JAY: Janeway is strapping on standard Federation assault gear and packing an ion rifle.

PAT: Ripley is duct taping a flamethrower to a standard Colonial pulse rifle. These two ladies look Pissed.

JAY: And there they go into the hall! They're splitting up... running in different directions!

PAT: Cpt. Janeway meets some resistance around the first corner... Zorak's mantis warriors are laying down a suppression fire of "Hangover" rays to keep her pinned...

JAY: Wait... Janeway jumps out like a cat! She's ditched the heavy rifle and is firing twin phaser blasters... one in each hand!

PAT: O.K... Lt. Ripley has hit a snag, too. She's running a straight offensive pattern here... getting in their faces and mowing 'em down with a barrage of pulse fire.

JAY: Janeway has passed her first obstacles and left a series of black soot on the floor that used to be mantis guys.

PAT: Jay, Ripley's on the move, too... screaming bloody murder as she chases after fleeing mantis warriors... flamethrower blasting away.

JAY: This match could go either way at this point.

PAT: Now let's get an up close view with our own SideLine Commentator Frank Williams...

Well, well, who shall win? I think Zorak will get them both! They're no match for him! (At least that better be what happens, since I have my life savings bet on this match!) Back to you, Pat.

PAT: Thanks Frank. What do you have now, Jay?

JAY: Zorak is personally organizing a counter offensive to the affront these two women make to his glorious person. He has demanded a heavy defense around the Com station...

PAT: Hold on, Jay... we have a connection now with our own Jack Gibson who has this special report...

This is Jack Gibson and I'm here live (for the time being) on the scene of this remote colony that's under siege by the evil warlord Zorak.

I don't have much time but I'll tell you that its a pitched battle in the compound, here. Both of these women warriors is more than up to the challenge, but is it enough? Only sweat and determination will turn the tide...

...Uh oh, camera guy says we've got to move, they're locking onto our signal. I'm hearing rifle fire and screaming, I'll try and report later if I survive.......OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

PAT: And that's why he get's paid the big bucks. What do you have, now, Jay?

JAY: Janeway and Ripley are whittling down the Comm Station defense as they approach from either side. Wait... what's this...?

PAT: Janeway is stopping at the side of a wounded Mantis... it looks like she is going to give it a quick hypo to stabilize...

JAY: It was a trick! The mantis smacks her with a hand-held Hangover ray! Oh No!!

PAT: Janeway sinks to the ground... a victim of her own Federation ideals. Zorak's mantis guys know no honor!

JAY: Meanwhile, Pat, Ripley is blasting Mantis warriors all over the place! She's stepping through charred green piles of chitinous exoskeleton to the comm station.

PAT: Zorak is forced to retreat before Voyager and Colonial reinforcements arrive.

THE FINAL VOTE

'Nuff Said!

FINAL VOTE:

Janeway: 81

Ripley: 130

THE WRAP UP

PAT: That's a wrap! Live from the Tau Ceti 3, this has been Pat Summers.

JAY: And Jay Peoples! Good Day.

Special Thanxs to: Aliens...the website

Special Thanxs to: Star Trek Anamoly

DISCLAIMER / NOTICE:

Ripley (TM) is the property � of 20th Century Fox.

Janeway (TM) is the property � of Viacom/ Paramount.

This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.

Pat & Jay written by Serge - Electric Ferret Studios

The part of Frank Williams by Robert - Callisto's Corner of Tartarus

The part of Jack Gibson by Kevin Bello

CBUB: The Comic Book Universe Battles