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"Ah, Mr. Dollar, sir, I really don't think this is the best way to market to--"~"Aaron, I don't pay you to think."~"Uhh, actually sir, you do pay me to think."~"Right. But not about that."~"Sir, this is much more than just marketing! This, this... THING..."~Years ago, Aaron Rubik's family had built a sizable business around an entertaining little collection of logic puzzles, the most famous being a small three by three by three cube. As he watched DollarCorp robots put the finishing touches on the monstrous machine before him, he wondered where it had all gone wrong. "Rubik, this 'thing' is going to put your name back on the map! When I bought out your operation, you were on the verge of bankruptcy. Do you know why?"~Aaron began stammering a little. "W-well, sales hadn't been all that great lately--" "All that great?" Marc Dollar toyed with one of the original cubes in his hand. "Even Khazan-Mart wouldn't cut you a deal selling this crap! Aaron, kids don't want to play with small, passive, thinking toys. They want BIG things! They want ACTIVE things! They want VIOLENT things! And that's exactly what we're going to give them with Rubix!" Aaron rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Sir, this machine isn't even safe for children! There's no way that the Khazan Review Board is going to allow this on the market! ... Where would kids even put it when they're not using it?!" Dollar stopped and grinned. "I never said we were going to market it to Khazanians..."
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You've played Grand Theft Khazan. You've played City of Killers. Now try the ultimate in gaming: RUBIX! Take control of a giant, destructive, cube of death and fight your way through the streets of the most populous virtual city in the Universe! The graphics are so lifelike, you'll think you're really piloting your way through an actual city and killing real, live people! Use one of FIFTY-FOUR different weapons to take out citizens, police, and even superhumans, or just go on a rampage crushing everything in your path! Pre-order your copy today! Rated E10.
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NRGCon7 NetServer
 Mental Defense: Supreme
Aaron gaped at the promotional advertisement. "You see, Rubik, inside each and every one of these giant cubes is a robotic operator controlled remotely via these game simulators." Dollar held up a game case in front of him, the word "RUBIX" in flashy font displayed above a depiction of his family's icon crushing a pedestrian. Aaron was still gaping. "It'll make it more difficult for those pesky mentalists to interfere. Rubik, are you getting this?" Aaron's mouth finally moved enough to speak. "E... 10?" Dollar laughed. "Oh, that? See, here on the back..." On the back of the packaging was a note: "Game Experience May Change During Online Play".
Descriptor - Intense Violence
 Weapons Creation: Supreme
- Ranged Attack Only
- Area Affect
- Target Seeker
- Multi-Attacks
- Ranged and Melee Attack
Instruction Manual, Page 17: Weapons: Use the R-Stick to switch between active weapons, keeping in mind that your RUBIX's orientation may affect which weapons are available. For your convenience, weapons are color-coded according to the paneling you are targeting from. For example, red panels utilize flamethrowers, grenade launchers, and other flammable weapons, while white panels contain laser cannons, energy mine launchers, and lightning guns, among other things. A full list of usable weapons can be found on Page 24...
Kids Love Giant Robots
 Vehicle: Supreme
"So you see, Aaron, the cost of building these is relatively low compared to the money we'll rake in from initial purchases and then monthly online fees. All we have to do is make sure outer paneling is sturdy enough to protect the control-bot in the center that feeds information back to the players. This stuff's reinforced and thick enough to take a real pounding, so you won't have too much to worry about..." That last part caught Aaron's attention. "Too much to worry about? What do you mean?"
Kids REALLY Love Violent Robots
 Natural Weaponry: Supreme
Just as he said that, he realized there were two guards behind him. One of them had a strange helmet in his hand. "Ah, well, you see, we're still tweaking the control-bot AI, but everything else is ready for beta-testing. We've even got a few kids on an upper floor with a control set ready to go, and I really want to see the gyroscopes that turn this crushing monstrosity in action. Got to have someone actually piloting the thing though..." The guard quickly jammed the helmet onto Aaron's head. Something electrical crackled, and Aaron's expression turned vacant. "So, are you ready to put the Rubik name back on the map, Aaron?" Aaron nodded compulsively, unconsciously. "Good! Alright boys, hook him up. I want this thing on store shelves in time for Christmas!"
Instruction Manual
 Tactician: Standard
"Pfft, instruction manual? Lame. Who wants to bother reading some stupid instruction manual?" "Yeah Dan, you sure didn't need an instruction manual to know how to SUCK. Now gimme the controller." "Bite me, Steve! You've already died twice, it's my turn." "Hey, try this cheat code, I found it on the Internet." "You retard, this game isn't even out yet, that's why we're testing it! ... DAMMIT, this boss is impossible to beat!" "Hey guys, I just read the manual, I think I know what to do." "Whatever Josh."
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Hall Of Fame!
Survival - 10 Wins!
Brutal - 1 Fatalities
