PERSONAL

Gender: None

Kit: Super

Location: Peoria, Illinois

AFFILIATION

Alignment: Villain

Team: Solo Villain

VITAL STATS

Strength: standard (rank 1)

Agility: standard (rank 1)

Mind: weak (rank 0)

Body: standard (rank 1)

Spirit: (rank )

Charisma: (rank )

RECORD

Infamy Points: 0

Personal Wins: 11

Personal Losses: 29

Team Wins: 0

Team Losses: 0

Tourney Wins: 0

Tourney Losses: 0

STATUS

Status: Active

PoisonPen

There once was an athlete named Bruce "the Juice" David, so named because of his impressible prodigious steroid use. Though borderline retarded, he managed to get into college on a football scholarship and, after flunking every single class he attended, realized the only way he could stay on the team would be to juice himself up to the eyeballs with whatever enhancers he could find. After getting a bad batch of experimental shark adrenaline shot into him, Bruce the Juice discovered that he when he became angry, his IQ shot into the stratosphere. With his newfound brilliance he decided that his dreams of NFL stardom were too small, and he embarked on a mission of world domination. Unfortunately, he discovered that while he was angry he was incapable of concentrating on anything -- and when he calmed down, he became stupid again. His rage at this situation kept him in a state of continuous (though useless) supergenius for long enough to execute several brilliant criminal enterprises which were ruined by his impetuous anger. His raging intelligence which grew greater as he got angrier gained him the moniker of "The Mad Genius" by police.

One day, while sitting in a holding cell at the courthouse, waiting for trial, The Mad Genius found himself forced to cool his heels with a group of other sad-sack, prodigiously stupid supervillains whose general lack of talent and laughable powers had resulted in their arrests. His annoyance at his situation (and his irritating company) gave him the wit to plan an escape, but only by utilizing all the powers of his fellow cellmates combined.

The villains were astounded by the success of their escape from custody, and they all realized that while they were hopeless incompetents as individuals, together they were actually pretty capable. They decided on the spot to band together with the goal of conquering the Earth, certain in their newfound competence. Sadly they could not decide whether to call themselves the Evil League or the League of Evilness, and were forced to compromise on the name: The Evil League of Evilness (which infuriated the Mad Genius, to everyone's benefit.)

Rugburn is The Mad Genius's henchman, being the least stupid of the rest of the group. Unfortunately he is also the least powerful. While doing day labour as a construction worker, Rugburn discovered that the vibrations from working the jackhammer unlocked a latent talent: the ability to vibrate the palms of his hands fast enough to generate significant friction with anything he touched. While he can just about manage to ignite a piece of paper (if he holds on to it for long enough), the power wasn't much useful for anything but annoying people. And while a bank teller might be intimidated enough by a red, hand-shaped welt on her face, it just makes superheroes angry, as Rugburn discovered to his chagrin.

Living Puddle is the only woman of the group, and she was in the cell with the others only because police couldn't tell her sex. A living, ambulatory puddle of skin-coloured liquid, Living Puddle made a living at petty crime by leaking under doors and looting shops. Unfortunately she's not very strong, so carrying the loot away was troublesome and time consuming. And since she's still normal human temperature, she was captured when the jewellery store she was robbing happened to have infra-red cameras installed. Police captured her by soaking her up with a beach towel.

The Human Catapult is the oldest member of the group at 60. After being fired from his job as an accountant for a large multinational insurance company for embezzlement, he found himself penniless and without a pension, and with chronic low back pain from 42 years sitting at a desk. As a way of keeping himself out of the street he volunteered for a highly experimental program which replaced his entire spine with a titanium-alloy bionic model powered by a small atomic reactor. After discovering through experimentation that his new spine was inhumanly strong and flexible, he began using it to cadge free drinks in bars. One day while showing off his talent to a punter, he straightened too quickly and sent his dentures rocketing at tremendous speed into the bartender's forehead, knocking him out. Scooping up the till and fleeing, The Human Catapult was born.

Infesto is the least popular member of the group. In fact, Infesto may be the least popular person anywhere, ever. As a child, Infesto was the despair of his parents. No matter how many times a day he was scrubbed and hosed down and disinfected, he was continuously afflicted with every parasite imaginable. The he had non-stop cases of tapeworms, heartworms, lice, scabies, ticks, ringworm, and athlete's foot, none of them seemed to do him any harm. Schools refused to take him and his parents were too disgusted to get close enough to homeschool him. At the age of 15 he found himself on the street, avoided even by the other homeless and forbidden to sleep at any of the homeless shelters. Then one day his powers fully manifested and Infesto found he had the power to bio-generate colossal numbers of parasites in his belly, which he could then vomit in a nauseating matrix of sticky mucous and bile. He has lived ever since by inflicting his power on truly horrified victims.

Tonguelash checked out a mysterious book about a secret order of Tibetan monks from the public library and, after skimming a few pages, decided to practice some of the vaguely-remembered meditative yoga rituals. Through a series of mistakes which he has been unable to remember, the man who would become Tonguelash accidentally separated part of his astral body from his flesh: his tongue. Whenever his mind wandered he'd find himself tasting something (or someone) off in the distance or even in other dimensions, and often the flavour was existentially vile. After discovering secrets Man was not meant to know (like the flavour of a demon lord's breechclout), Tonguelash made the rounds of every psychic, medium, and two-bit circus gypsy he could found, trying to find someone who could reattach his astral tongue to his physical body. When no one could help him, an angry and bitter Tonguelash decided he may as well get what benefit he could from his power.

Together, they are almost as powerful as a single competent supervillain. Almost. From their secret base under the city of Peoria they wage a never-ending struggle to conquer the free world.

The entire group both fears and respects The Mad Genius. Respects, because he is the only person who gives them a feeling of mild competence; fears, because in order to activate his genius he must be roaring mad -- and with his furious brilliance, he is capable of the most witheringly caustic insults imaginable, a veritable Don Rickles of crime. Thus he is either dumb as a stump and useless to the team, or viciously angry at all of them and savagely competent at making them feel miserable about themselves.

Rugburn is glumly devoted to The Mad Genius, since he knows his sad power is utterly useless without him. The Mad Genius relies on Rugburn to deal with the rest of the team when he's angry (which is most of the time), since his blistering insults tend to wound morale. While Rugburn has a modicum of intelligence, he has a gradeschool education and is notoriously forgetful. Several times he has forgotten to shut off his power before making a trip to the bathroom, resulting in friction burns to unutterably painful locations.

Little is known about Living Puddle since she tends to be quiet and aloof (and the wet, bubbly sound of her voice tends to freak people out), but she has a raging hatred of Tonguelash, who tends to lap at her as the only woman in the group. More than once The Mad Genius has been forced to keep her stoppered in a large glass bottle to keep her from drowning Tonguelash in his sleep. She is also easily the most vicious of the group, and is a suspect in several mysterious dry-land drownings.

The Human Catapult has asthma, chronic constipation, and insomnia. The asthma and constipation he had before the installation of his bionic spine, but the insomnia comes from the constant, infuriating, incessant hum of the small nuclear reactor implanted in the back of his neck. This leaves him constantly in a poor humour, which makes him peevish and prone to complain about everything. After a life of accounting, he is in generally poor shape and a miserable hand to hand combatant. However, given that he is capable of hurling a bowling ball straight through a concrete wall, he is usually considered the "heavy hitter" of the group, and afforded leniency for his constant complaints.

Infesto is illiterate and poorly socialized. Since no one wants to get anywhere near him, he has long since given up bathing, and the time between changes of underwear has to be measured geologically. He is needy and eager to please if anyone shows him anything resembling an absence of gagging disgust, but since this rarely happens he is more usually taciturn and sullen. He has an astoundingly vast collection of hardcore hentai (which Infesto considers one of his superpowers), much to the disgust of Living Puddle.

Tonguelash was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder as a child, and his favourite word is "whatever." He can't concentrate on anything for more than fifteen seconds at a stretch, which has the unfortunate effect of causing his astral tongue to wander randomly. He has tasted horrors beyond human ken, which gives his eyes the haunted look of a man who knows more than he ever wanted to find out about the Universe. One of the few benefits of his power comes from getting to taste some of the sexiest superheroines alive, which generally results in savage beating which leave him in the hospital for weeks, harassing nurses and candystripers. He is currently obsessed with Living Puddle (who tastes absolutely delicious), who may some day murder him.

The Mad Genius

     Commander: standard (rank 1)

The angrier The Mad Genius gets, the smarter he gets; while in a towering rage he could theoretically build awesome doomsday machines or plot intricate webs of deceit except for the unfortunate fact that he's too furious to concentrate on anything. His anger at this irony only makes him even smarter, which eventually results in realizing that allowing his rage to control him is thwarting his dreams of world domination... at which point he forces himself to calm, resulting in becoming stupid again, which triggers his awesome temper. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Often mildly useful in the field, where his rage at his team's general incompetence gives him tactical brilliance.

Rugburn

     Fire: standard (rank 1)

Rugburn has the power to vibrate the molecules on the palms of his hands so quickly that they can leave nasty welts on the skin of whomever he touches. Heroes who tangle with Rugburn often emerge covered in bright red handprints which are both embarassing and painful. Rugburn once tried to melt the door off a safe by keeping both his hands on it for hours and gave himself second degree burns from the hot metal (and set the money on fire inside).

The Human Catapult

     Marksman: standard (rank 1)

The Human Catapult has a nuclear-powered bionic spine, capable of bending back 180 degrees and then snapping instantly erect. By holding heavy objects in his hands, he is capable of flinging them with tremendous force. While he carries a number of bowling balls with him for ammunition, The Human Catapult is often forced to spend his time scouring the area for objects large enough to do damage. He is currently on the ASPCA's most wanted list after a stray cat wandered onto the field of combat during a confrontation with the police.

Living Puddle

     Transformation: standard (rank 1)

Living Puddle is a rippling pool of sentient, flesh-toned liquid. She isn't strong enough to do more than squelch around on the ground, but given enough time she can ooze herself up stairs by extending fleshy pseudopods. On a level surface she can move quickly, but must be cautious about sewer grates and potholes. Living Puddle can manifest hand-like pseudopods for short periods and can squeeze through even the smallest cracks and crevices, making her useful as a scout or spy. In battle she generally attempts to ooze up the enemy's pants legs and trip him or her up so that she can attempt to cover her opponent's face. On at least one occasion this resulting in Living Puddle being gulped down byh her drowning opponent and having to be pumped out at hospital.

Infesto

     Beast Master: standard (rank 1)

• Ranged Attack
• Area Affect

Infesto is capable of bio-generating huge numbers of lice, scabies, ticks, fleas, and chiggers in his stomach, then vomiting them with great force in a sticky, writhing stream at his victims. While the parasites he shoots are not in and of themselves dangerous, the sheer horror Infesto causes is impressive and there are entire superteams who refuse to fight him. Grown, combat-hardened policemen have been known to burst into tearful sobs at the thought of having to face Infesto.

Tonguelash

     Telekinesis: standard (rank 1)

• Ranged Attack

Tonguelash is capable of psychically projecting his astral tongue short distances. Unfortunately, since he can't actually see with his tongue, he's forced to feel and taste his way around. His astral tongue is normally invisible (though it can be felt -- hot, wet, and slimy), but psychics, the undead, and some people with hypersenses can see it as a ghostly, tongue-shaped field of force. Tonguelash can do anything with his psychic tongue that a person can ordinarily do with their tongue, so he can manipulate switches and push buttons, but has difficulty doing anything which requires manual dexterity (such as turning the dial on a safe or unlocking a door).

In combat, Tonguelash uses his astral tongue mostly to disgust and distract the enemy. Many outraged heroes experience shuddery flashbacks and panic attacks for weeks after seeing a squishy lump travelling around under their spandex. Tonguelash enjoys fighting female heroes. A lot.